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Post by levi on Jan 4, 2009 23:13:56 GMT 1
♥ ♥ l e v i. there's always some reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day. There was a moment of silence, and for a second Levi worried that he'd killed their conversation. He blinked, staring at the plastic on his arm and calming himself. 'You really do overreact too much, y'know,' he thought to himself. 'you need to grow up.' Sex was natural. It wasn't taboo to think or talk about it. He didn't need to freak out at the mere mention of the word.
Sighing softly to himself, the boy lifted his gaze to the fire and stared into the hungry flames. ”Levi?” Kris spoke, and the Hufflepuff noticed the unsure tone coming from his mouth this time. It sounded as if the Ravenclaw was about to confide something in Levi this time, instead of it being the other way around. "Yeah?" He responded gently, though he kept his eyes locked on the lively element in front of him.
Kris could tell him anything; Levi was a good secret keeper, and he had always liked to be there for people. Not to mention, Kris and he had come a bit closer today -- their trust towards each other had likely increased. The Hufflepuff wanted his friend to be able to talk to him. He wanted to be there for the Ravenclaw if he needed him -- just like the Ravenclaw was there for him.
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Post by kris on Jan 5, 2009 0:07:25 GMT 1
Kristian swallowed when Levi gave him the okay to talk, fidgeting with his collar for a moment. He glanced sideways, but nobody seemed to pay particular attention to either of them. They were just two boys sharing an armchair, talking quietly. There were people watching a particularly vicious game of gobstones, and in another corner, a group was playing exploding snap. There was enough noise in the room for them to share a secret, so he took a deep breath, keeping his eyes fixed on the fire as he began to talk in a soft, unsure voice.
”Did you ever wonder, where I went all those times I wasn’t around?” He had been sneaking off a lot, mostly during the weekends but sometimes during the week, especially after he had turned seventeen. He fought with himself for a moment, wondering whether or not he should admit he had been working underage, but he doubted that Levi would tell anyone, so Silas nor Scores could get in trouble. He owed so much to his boss, even if he absolutely hated the line of work he was in. ”Why I wasn’t around some nights?” His voice was little more than a whisper, the Ravenclaw still fidgeting with his clothes.
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Post by levi on Jan 5, 2009 1:05:22 GMT 1
♥ ♥ l e v i. there's always some reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day. ”Did you ever wonder, where I went all those times I wasn’t around? Why I wasn’t around some nights?”
Levi had always been quite curious, and so the question about Kris's disappearances would have no doubt come up were the Hufflepuff to have noticed their frequency. As it was, however, he hadn't really thought much of the couple times Kris wasn't around when he was trying to find him. Levi simply assumed the other was in his Common Room doing homework or sleeping. It wasn't as if he was going to barge into the Ravenclaw tower and demand to see his friend.
Nevertheless, he wasn't about to explain this all to the other boy. Kris was about to tell him the reason for his nighttime absences, or so it seemed, and Levi's curiosity was growing. "Yeah," he said softly, flicking his gaze to his friend, "I wondered." Levi could tell that this was a secret by the way his friend was talking so quietly, and he felt happy to know that Kris was thinking about sharing it with him. "Where did you go?" he whispered softly, letting the Ravenclaw know that he was interested in knowing and that he could tell him.
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Post by kris on Jan 5, 2009 1:42:45 GMT 1
"Yeah, I wondered. Where did you go?"
Swallowing, the Ravenclaw turned to his friend, green meeting blue for a moment as he bit on his bottom lip again, shyness overpowering him, so he cast his eyes downwards to the yellow carpet. One deep breath, and then Kristian started talking. His voice was wavering ever so often, and at one or two points he fell silent for a couple of seconds, but he got through it, however his eyes never left the carpet.
”The summer before I turned fifteen, after fourth year, I came home...and my mum was all bruised and beaten. My dad...he used to hate magic. When he found out I was a wizard, he went crazy. He figured that if he punished me whenever I used magic, it’d disappear somehow” There were marks all over his body from that, a particularly nasty scar on his hip that always made him think of how Louis had responded. How he had kissed him and promised to show him a better world.
Kris sniffled for a moment at that, feeling tears appearing in his eyes, which slightly embarrassed him. ”I took my mum to the hospital, she had to stay there for a while. While she was there, we found out some bad things...apparently dad died and left us with a huge gambling debt. Mum went deaf from the last abuse so she wasn’t able to work anymore.” His mother had worked as an interpreter and after the beatings had become severely shocked and depressed. The Ravenclaw boy had pondered on what to do for weeks, until he finally went back to Hogwarts.
”I went into Hogsmeade one day and stumbled across a club there. I don’t know for the life of me why I went in, but it turned out to be a stripclub.” At this, Kristian winced, slowly lifting up his head to look at Levi for a few seconds. ”I’ve been working there ever since I was fifteen.”
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Post by levi on Jan 6, 2009 2:41:50 GMT 1
♥ ♥ l e v i. there's always some reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day. Shyness seemed to take a hold of the Ravenclaw, his voice shaking a bit and his eyes cast toward the floor. It seemed almost like it was hard for him to speak, and for all Levi knew it was hard. He couldn't think of anything he could say or do to alleviate the other's fear, and so instead he just listened quietly, drinking in his friend's story and leaning softly against him.
The sentences slipping from between the other boy's jaws proved to be immensely personal, starting off with beatings, moving to death, and eventually ending up at a confession of where he worked. Levi wasn't sure how to respond. So much emotion had coated his friend's speech, and the Hufflepuff didn't want to give an unsatisfying answer. He wanted to be there for Kris; he wanted to let him know that he didn't mind where he worked and at the same time didn't want to make it sound as if the other boy's words were nothing.
Allowing their eyes to hold onto each others' for a moment, the smaller boy eventually leaned into his friend and stretched his arms around him in a hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his tones muffled by Kris's shirt, "I'm sorry that you have to do that." Levi tightened the embrace for a second. "But you should know I'd never judge you for something like that...you do what you have to do, y'know. Don't be ashamed about it or anything." The Hufflepuff released his grip on the older boy and leaned back, smiling cutely at him. If Kris had to strip to get money for his deaf mother, then it was perfectly fine. Hell, even if it had been different and he stripped because he actually wanted too Levi would still think it was fine.
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Post by kris on Jan 6, 2009 14:21:08 GMT 1
As Levi met his eyes freely, Kristians green ones widened for a moment, out of fear and worry. Although he had shared the story with Hailey before, it was nowhere near as personal as it seemed to be this time. He couldn’t help but wonder what his boyfriend would say once he found out that he had told other people before he had told him. At the mere thought of that, he cringed, though he soon relaxed as the younger Hufflepuff threw his arms around him in a tight hug.
"But you should know I'd never judge you for something like that...you do what you have to do, y'know. Don't be ashamed about it or anything."
Lifting his head up at the words he silently watched Levi leaning back, giving him a sweet and sincere smile. Kris just stayed in the position he had been all night, glancing to the fire, then back at the other male. ”Thank you” He whispered, running fingers through his own dark hair, before exhaling quietly. It suddenly felt like there was air again, like he could breathe properly for the first time in weeks. ”I haven’t told him though. I know I should...I’m just scared.” Too scared.
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Post by levi on Jan 7, 2009 3:24:26 GMT 1
♥ ♥ l e v i. there's always some reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day. ”Thank you. I haven’t told him though. I know I should...I’m just scared.”
Levi assumed that 'him' referred to Louis, his friend's boyfriend, and he softly bit his lower lip. That wasn't a good thing. Relationships depended on trust to keep them from breaking, and Kris keeping his stripping job secret from his own lover didn't seem all that honest. The Hufflepuff blinked. He understood that the other was scared, more than just his saying it gave that away, but he still should have told Loius. He should have told him before they'd started dating.
"Kris.." He said softly, "you shouldn't be scared. Just...just tell him. I'm sure he won't judge you for it." Loius was actually really sweet, and Levi doubted that he would get mad at Kris for simply working at a strip club. The Ravenclaw's having kept it secret was a different matter, but Levi two doubted that Louis would react too negatively. He loved Kris, didn't he? In love, people were supposed to accept everything about their partner.
"You love him, right? And he loves you? Just tell him."
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Post by kris on Jan 7, 2009 15:05:48 GMT 1
"Kris...you shouldn't be scared. Just...just tell him. I'm sure he won't judge you for it."
Kristian really wanted to believe that. He wanted Louis to take it as well as Levi just had, but he couldn’t help being scared. If his boyfriend would have told him something like this...well he’d be hurt. He’d be so hurt that the younger male hadn’t trusted him enough to tell the truth before they started dating. And he’d be angry, because it showed a clear lack of trust and commitment not to tell something so major. If those were his own feelings, how would Louis feel? He always seemed to feel more intense than others did.
"You love him, right? And he loves you? Just tell him."
He nodded, tears suddenly blurring his eyes. ”I do love him. I’m so in love with him that I’m afraid to lose him...He means everything to me.” He had never been suicidal and he doubted he would ever be, but losing Louis...it’d mean that the sun was stolen from his life. Like everything had grown dark and dreary again. If it hadn’t been for his boyfriend, he would still be the same silent, lonely Kristian Lytton he’d been in the past. He would go back to being the one who blended in with the shadows and that seemed to be a fate worse than death. Just the thought of losing him made it hard for him to breathe, like the oxygen had been sucked away.
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Post by levi on Jan 8, 2009 0:59:21 GMT 1
♥ ♥ l e v i. there's always some reason to feel not good enough and it's hard at the end of the day. ”I do love him. I’m so in love with him that I’m afraid to lose him...He means everything to me."
Kris looked as if he was about to cry, and Levi frowned just slightly. He felt that he was only making the situation worse, and that was definitely the last thing that he wanted to do. "That's understandable," he said softly to his friend, "But still...telling him yourself would be better than him finding out on his own or learning it from a rumor." Levi knew that if he were Louis, he'd be much more hurt if he found out Kris's occupation through whispers in the hallway or that gossipy school newspaper. That would make it seem as if the Ravenclaw had never planned on telling him at all.
Even if Louis got angry, he'd most likely be quicker to forgive the Ravenclaw if Kris told him than if someone else did. It was very possible that the school newspaper would find out Kris's secret, and if that happened there was sure to be an article about it. Louis would probably ask his boyfriend whether it was true or not, and Kris would have to tell the truth as much as he didn't want too. If that were the case, there was a very good chance that Louis would not be too impressed and that he would be more than just a little upset.
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Post by kris on Jan 8, 2009 1:10:07 GMT 1
Kristian looked at Levi, wiping at his eyes with a little smile, glad that the Hufflepuff hadn’t completely latched onto the tears and made things more awkward than they had to be. He liked being the one to help others, but when it came to expressing his own feelings...well that wasn’t really his strong point. When he was going to confront Louis – he knew it had to be a when not an if – he was sure to break down even more than he already did now.
The thing Levi said about the rumors made him wince though, realizing that he hadn’t even thought about that option. Somehow he had always considered that he would either tell Louis himself, or the younger boy would never even know. The thought that someone else could tell him, that Louis might have his own name printed on the front page of that horrible excuse for a newspaper made him more determined than he’d been in a long while. Jaw set tight, he shook his head. ”No.” Kris’s voice was soft, but strong at the same time. ”No, I can’t let that happen.” He’d have to tell him. And before someone else could. ”I’ll tell him. Tomorrow, I’ll tell him.” God he hoped that he could.
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