Cassie the Cowardly... Australian (Ed)

[Cassie Vimes]

Usually Cassie Vimes did not spend an extended amount of time out in the cold. The snow had finally melted, but a bitter chill still hung in the air and the WWN was predicting more of the white stuff to come. Despite all this Cassie was hovering outside The Hog’s Head, tramping up and down in front of the pub to try and work up the nerve to go in (as well as keep some circulation going in her toes). She ducked out of sight of one of the windows as Ed walked passed it, carrying a stack of dirty glasses back behind the bar.

It had been a week since the proverbial shit had hit the fan in their relationship and Cassie hadn’t seen him properly since then. Cowardly of her? Hell yes. It hadn’t entirely been her fault though. Dacian showing up at her room delirious and hurting had kept her busy for a few days and the one time she’d ventured into the pub three days ago Ed had somehow managed to be in the stock room the entire time. Come to think of it arriving with Dacian that day probably hadn’t been the best idea, but he’d said he needed to see Vivian and she was reluctant to let him out of her sight what with the arm and all.

After that Cassie had just completely chickened out and found the smallest excuses to stay away. Her hair was greasy, she couldn’t possibly apologise to Ed with greasy hair… The longer she left it the harder it became to just go in and apologise. But the whole kissing a vampire in front of Ed thing. Yeah, that most definitely had been her fault and she couldn’t put off trying to explain any longer. She had to, she missed Ed terribly and the four day honeymoon period hadn't nearly been enough to re-familiarise herself with him.

Taking a deep breath she internally counted down from ten (squeezing in half numbers towards the end of the countdown for good measure) and pushed open the door to the pub. It was warm inside, but Cassie just found the atmosphere stifling. She tugged uncomfortably at her scarf while she made her way over to the bar. Ed had his back to her and she couldn’t tell if he’d glanced over to see her when she walked in or not. ”Ed?” She asked tentatively, her voice slightly pleading. What if he turned round and there was hate in his eyes?

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[Edward Johns]

A week, it had been a week since probably one of the lowest points in Edward Johns’ life, not that he was counting or anything. Still, people said time healed all wounds and it had done a good job on Ed’s. Even after seven days he was feeling better about the whole thing. Though it was probably thanks to avoiding his problems. Taking a leaf out of Vivian’s book he’d decided he was now looking to the future. There would be another girl; he just had to wait for her to stumble into the village in the middle of nowhere.

Still, the thought of another girl didn’t keep his mind off Cassie. He’d been so sure she would never do a thing like she’d done to him. Showed how much he knew. But the way Ed had left Cassie; he really shouldn’t have blamed her. It had been two years, enough time for her to move on, why hadn’t he? Ed guessed he was just emotionally retarded.

Checking the clock he wished he had Vivian to talk to. She was off asleep in her new room and now Ed was left serving people alone, well not alone, Rowdy was asleep on the bar. The girl and Rowdy had been almost inseparable and it made Ed happy when he thought of Viv smiling. Dacian, of course hated the fact he and Viv had forged a friendship in his absence. Instead of gloating about it though whenever the older vampire hurried in to feed Viv, Ed for once kept his mouth shut; sure Vivian wouldn’t like it if he teased Dacian about their friendship.

Once again cheerful, Edward whistled as he worked. He heard the door to the bar open but for once didn’t look over. It wouldn’t be Dacian, he couldn’t get in without his permission and it wouldn’t be Cassie. Hearing his name behind him puzzled Ed. He knew that voice.

The man turned slowly, hardly wanting to look at Cassie Vimes but, heart beating fast, he forced himself to look her straight in the eye. There was no hate in those green eyes, just hurt, anger and disappointment. “What do you want? Here to reprimand me over what I did to your fuckbuddy? I’ll tell you now I don’t regret it and if you’ll excuse me I have work to get back to,” although not spiteful there was still a hint of malice in Ed’s voice but it was mostly pained sadness.

[Cassie Vimes]

Cassie held her breath as he turned towards her, his movement excruciatingly slow, but way too fast at the same time. If he’d just ignored her she could have run away, retreated back to the safety of The Three Broomsticks and mothering Dacian. But he didn’t and she let out a long shaky breath as his eyes met hers. There was no hate there. What she saw was far, far worse. Guilt twisted wretchedly in her stomach as she took in the pain of her betrayal as clear as day on his face.

Coward that she was Cassie looked away, gaze dropping to the dark scarred wood of the bar. If she kept looking at Ed she’d been too choked up to even speak. Seeing him hurt like that, knowing it was all her fault… Her heart was beating out a nervous patter, matching Ed’s beat for beat. Not that she could hear it, she didn’t have a vampire’s keen hearing to help her there. For all she knew Edward was perfectly calm, ready to throw her out of the pub at any moment.

She visibly flinched, Ed’s words like a slap to the face, and her gaze flew back to his against her will. The fact that she deserved every word he said didn’t make it hurt any less. Like that one kiss had wiped all his trust in her completely. ”No!” Cassie denied, her voice gaining a desperate edge. Sure she was mad at Ed for hurting Dacian, but that wasn’t why she was here, the denial was more at his use of the term ‘fuckbuddy’. For once his crude language did not bring a smile to her lips, it only hurt.

”Ed please!” She took a step towards the bar then stopped short. That couldn’t be her only chance over, he couldn’t just take one look at her and decide she wasn’t worth it. ”Dacian and I, we haven’t… I would never…” How could she explain if he didn’t believe a word she said. ”Edward I’m so sorry.” Her voice was quiet and she ran her fingers through her hair, a move Ed would recognise that signalled she was becoming stressed and agitated. Back at school it would have prompted his fingers massaging into shoulders to ease tense muscles and his lips on her neck.

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[Edward Johns]

Edward didn’t want to listen to Cassie, the sound of her voice saying his name hurt too much. Still, he stopped and turned around to her again. There were so many things he wanted to yell and scream at her, more than anything he wanted to cry and beg for her to come back to him. Tell her he needed her more than anything else in the world.

When Ed had left all those years ago he’d told himself that she was too good for him. That he didn’t deserve Cassie. For the two years that followed no matter how many times he told himself that, Ed missed her more than anything. She had been like family, his best friend and he’d betrayed her by leaving. He had not written to her because he was too much of a coward, he hadn’t known what to say. Beg for forgiveness for being such a jerk? Ask her to drop everything to be with him? Although these ideas had tempted Edward he’d never had the courage to pen them to paper.

When he’d seen her in the pub the first day Cassie had been there, it had been the first time Ed had thought maybe Cassie was meant for him, that the universe was telling him so. But no, now he saw as she stood before him that the universe was mocking him. Showing him something that he couldn’t have.

“You’re sorry?” the man repeated incredulously, “that makes everything fine then.” Fuming, Edward turned to look away for a moment. There were words on the tip of his tongue that he needed to say, that regardless of how she felt she needed to know. “You wanna know why watching you kiss that sorry bastard hurt? It’s because... I... I...” for a moment he stood trying force the words out. Such simple words but they would make a huge impact, it reminded him of the cross around his neck and what it had done to Dacian. Heart almost beating out of his chest he once again looked her straight in the eye and readied himself to speak.

“It’s because I love you, I never stopped loving you," he whispered softly.

There it was now out in the open. It was a battle to resist the urge to run and hide, to avoid the disappointment and heartache that was surely coming. Edward's mind was following a similar path to Cassie's Seeing her run her hands through her hair made him think back to when they were younger. There was nothing more he wanted then to be the one to calm her once again.

Edward's eyes and demeanor softened but so did his resolve. He couldn't face yet more disappointment and to shield himself he turned his back to her. He also rubbed a hand through his hair as he tried to make himself move but he was stuck where he was. The part that wanted this to be over had gained control of his legs it seemed.

[Cassie Vimes]

The sarcasm in his words bit into her. He’d rejected her apology and Cassie just didn’t know what to do. It made her realise how easy she’d had it before when it came to their relationship. When she’d done stupid stuff back then Ed had forgiven her so easily and she’d done the same for him. Now they were grown up everything had to be difficult. It really hit home just how much she’d hurt Edward by kissing Dacian.

At least he was willing to talk to her though, let her try to explain. She’d have to try and battle through, she had to let him be angry with her even if it hurt. ”I’m sorry.” Cassie said again, looking thoroughly miserable, what else could she do but say it over and over until he believed her? Holding his gaze was difficult, he kept looking away and every time he looked back she was forced to face the hurt in his eyes again.

She looked at Ed, curiosity flaring up. What did he want to say? He was so familiar, but everything had changed too. Before they had both kept quiet about how they felt, avoiding emotional conversations and showing their affection in other ways. Cassie’s heart leapt, tears welling in her eyes and a big stupid grin on her face. All she’d done in the past week was hurt Ed and now he went and said something like that to her.

”Oh, Ed!” She’d meant to give him space, but that wasn’t going to happen now, nothing could have kept her away from him. Her lip trembled as he turned away from her again. Ed couldn’t say something like that and expect Cassie to just let it drop. She stepped forwards, leaning over the bar to grab his arm. She wanted to hug him more than anything else in the world, but she couldn’t, not while he had his back to her.

”I love you too.” She said, grip tightening on his arm as though keeping a hold on him would ensure he couldn’t just walk away. ”Please, you have to believe me.” Cassie’s gaze was imploring, her voice pleading. ”It was such a stupid mistake. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant for you to get hurt.” If only Ed would just turn around and look at her, give her some clue that this conversation wasn’t a waste of time.

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[Edward Johns]

He couldn’t take it. Waiting for the disappointment that was sure to come was killing Edward. Already he could hear it, ‘I’m sorry but I don’t feel for you like that anymore.’ Unfortunately baring your soul was a risky business, and to lose her to Dacian of all things was heartbreaking.

Her hand on his arm stopped him for a moment but it was her words that glued him to where he stood. Did Cassie just say what he thought she did? For a moment Ed was shocked into silence. If his heart had been beating fast before it was now beating out a riot in his ribcage. There was no way she said that, not to him. It took him awhile to fully accept her words.

Did he believe her? Usually, if it had been anyone else, Ed’s forgiveness was hard to come but how could he stay mad at Cassie after that? He smiled to himself but still didn’t look at Cassie. Instead he shrugged her off in a way that would make her think he was still mad at her but as soon as she saw his face when he rounded the bar she’d know that was not the case.

Weak smile plastered on his face, Ed walked straight to Cassie. He placed a hand gently on her cheek and his forehead gently against hers so that their noses were touching. All the while he couldn’t help but smile. “I guess this means I forgive you,” he whispered softly, laughing a little, lost in the moment. There was not one thought of Dacian or anyone else, just Cassie Vimes.

[Cassie Vimes]

Cassie held her breath as she waited for Ed’s reaction. Would he believe her or just walk away? He seemed excruciatingly capable of drawing it out for longer than Cassie had ever thought possible. Come on Ed, a girl could get quite light headed waiting like this. Then he stiffened, shrugged out of her grasp and her breath whooshed out of her like a kick to the gut. He walked down the bar without looking back and her world fell apart.

Ed was leaving her, it was all over. Cassie felt tears welling in her eyes and she let her head drop, trying to blink them back. If he looked back she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her upset. Devastated more like. She was so focused on staring at the bar again, she wasn’t going to cry, she wasn’t, that she didn’t realise that Edward was come over until he was by her side. She looked at him, taking in his smile.

”You ass!” Cassie choked out, leaning in to him. Her legs felt like jelly so it wasn’t like she could stand up on her own. From this close, her eyes swimming with tears, her whole world was a blur of Ed. ”Thank you.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around him, this time he really wasn’t getting away from her. It only took the slightest tilt of her head, a press forwards and she was kissing him. Slightly tearstained, but perfect.

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[Edward Johns]

She didn’t run, she didn’t hide, she was just there with tears in her eyes. Edward stroked Cassie’s face gently, wiping the tears that escaped away with his thumb. “Hey, hey,” he whispered gently, “it’s ok.” It seemed Cassie had read his mind, just when he was about to plant a kiss, her soft lips were one step ahead. The man smiled into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of Cassie Vimes’ lips on his and her arms around him.

Any other situation, any other girl Edward would have deepened the kiss immediately but instead he pulled back and embraced Cassie in a hug. Truth be told it would take more than a few words and a kiss for the man to trust her fully again but today had been a good start. He never wanted this moment to end, for once everything was perfect. There was no Silas or Dacian to fight, argue of throw crucifixes at.

For a few more minutes Ed was contented to just hold Cassie close with one hand and stroke her hair with his other. “You know I missed you,” he said smiling before letting her go. The statement could be taken to mean the two years they were apart but it was more for the week that had gone by since the previous Tuesday.

“You know I should really get back to work,” the man joked. The look on Edward’s face said it all, he wasn’t going to go back to work, not while she was here.

[Cassie Vimes]

Ed being so nice to her just made it worse somehow, the way he tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks and whispered soothing words to her making her well up even more. What was wrong with her? Cassie Vimes wasn’t a romantic sap and she definitely didn’t cry. But Ed was just being so nice to her and the last week of uncertainty had taken their toll, turning her into an emotional wreck. She let out a small pathetic sound, somewhere between a sniffle and a hiccough, then let the kiss distract her, eyes fluttering closed as her lips pressed against his.

It was quite possibly the sweetest kiss they’d ever shared. Soft, innocent, all the things their relationship had never been before. Cassie was surprised to find herself enjoying it, there was no pressure, no desperate lust like the kisses she’d shared with Dacian in the past week. She gave a contented sigh as Ed pulled back, content to let him hold her, leaning into him possibly more than was needed so he was practically holding her up.

Cassie felt safe here, buried in his arms, and she snuggled closer, her head pressed into the crook of his neck. She could feel the stubble on his jaw against her cheek and his heart beating against the palm she had resting on his chest. He was soft and warm and he smelt like home. ”I thought I’d lost you.” She whispered, not caring that her voice was muffled so he probably hadn’t heard her properly. It was enough that she’d said it.

She pouted when Ed pulled away. ”Do you have to?” She whined, Ed was hers, she’d just got him back and she wasn’t willing to share him with a bunch of drunks. ”They’ll probably help themselves if you just leave them to it.” Cassie said, lips twitching into a small smile. Her eyes darted around the room taking in the other patrons and willing them to just disappear, but she quickly found herself looking back at Ed, if she kept looking at him he couldn’t get away from her again.

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[Edward Johns]

The kiss had been something new for Edward; there had been no urgency, no ridiculous amounts of lust or want. Innocent kissing, he’d never thought he’d see the day. Even if it was something new it had felt amazing. Once again he gave her a weak smile and was also willing the people of the bar to disappear the day. He was tempted to let out his stockman’s whistle which to most of the regulars told them it was time to leave. No, Ed couldn’t do that. After the previous two weeks of Dacian’s residency the man had been living on almost army rations, he needed the money. But then, he needed Cassie more.

Edward couldn’t help but laugh at Cassie’s suggestion. “Oh I know they’d help themselves, that’s what I’m worried about,” he chuckled, eyeing the patrons as he did so. Seeing her smile only made the man’s smile broaden, he was starting to think he was good at this whole ‘make people smile’ thing. As it was after lunch, the pub had gotten a little slower s maybe he could take his break.

“Alright, how about this? I can’t stop working but I can take a break for a little while. Want a drink?” Ed took one of her hands in one of his and led her to a table close to the bar. They had so much more catching up to do, now even more so than before. Also, Ed needed to start trusting her again. As much as he wanted to forget about the previous Tuesday and all the thoughts of what the pair were doing, he just couldn’t, not yet. The wound was still raw.

Quickly the barkeep gathered up some glasses and muggle whiskey before sitting himself opposite Cassie. He couldn’t help but stare at her, elated that she was here before him. What the hell was up with him? He never acted like he was with any other girl, it must definitely be love.