two sides to every story [Josh]

[hazelparish]

Josh,

Please meet me at four in the astronomy tower.

~Hazel.

Hazel had sent that note to Josh a few hours earlier. As she waited she clutched the poor excuse for a student paper. It wrinkled in her grip as she stalked angrily down the hall. Several students moved out of her way as she went, not use to seeing the normally good tempered witch so cross. Even her friends were giving the pink clad girl a wide berth this particular day. She had read the article when it first came out, refusing to believe it. She was growing infuriated by the students who just blindly believed the story. Had anyone even bothered to get Josh’s side of the story?

She and Josh had been friends once, before he changed. Hazel was never one to just drop a friend; he pushed her away, so she gave him space. She would always be there if he needed her, and right now, she was pretty sure he needed as much support as he could get. She had sent him an owl, hoping that he would actually respond and meet her like she requested.

She sat down, back against the wall, tapping the crinkled rolled up paper against her legs. She was annoyed, and angry on his behalf. Anyone with eyes could see there was more to this than meets the eye. She had an inkling that Josh had liked the other boy. She seriously doubted that he’d have changed so much to resort to this. She turned her head slightly when she heard someone in the entrance.

[josh]

Josh honestly didn't know why he had bothered. To say it was a surprise to see Hazels note was an understatement, and yet in some odd way he had been expecting it. Hazel had always been a good and true friend, pushing her away had been hard, though at the same time it had been so easy. She'd let him, which had hurt him so much until he finally understood that all she had wanted was for him to take all the space he'd needed. She was one of the people he didn't bother to avoid completely, though their friendship was a far cry from what it had once been.

Still, he owed her in a sense. Talking about anything serious definitely wasn't on his list of things to do, but he'd be even more of an asshole if he didn't show up. And with everything that had been happening...he sort of didn't have the luxury to be completely rude to everyone anymore. His world had spun away from the silence and relative invisibility he lived in, to put him smack dab in the spotlight. All Josh wanted was to be left alone again, the rumors sadly didn't disappear as quickly as he would've hoped.

Stepping into the owlery, he found the girl practically murdering the newspaper. It was adorable, the look on her face positively endearing. It took a lot to upset Hazel, she was usually the happy go lucky type - or seemed to be. To make her look this way, for him, meant that maybe she would actually care to listen to his side of the story. It was what softened his voice, making it a hesitant, soft hello as he spoke to her. "Hey"

[hazelparish]

“Hey.”

Hazel managed to strangle back any surprise and kept it completely from her face. “Hey, I’m glad you came.” She was quiet for a few moments studying the boy; Josh looked, to put it nicely tired. She absently twisted the paper in her hand before letting out a slow sigh; she looked up at the boy, her eyes a little narrower than they should be.

“So I was cleaning out a bird cage, and though what better use for this useless rag,” She said shaking the paper slightly. “So imagine my surprise when I caught site of the story. Thinking it was just another random stupid story I didn’t think much of it at first. So imagine my even further surprise to find out some of the dunderheads at this school actually think this is true.” She took a step closer to him, but still have him plenty of personal space.

“What actually happened Josh?” She asked softly. “I know you, and maybe you don’t think of me as a friend anymore, but I still think of you as one. I want to help you; you haven’t changed so much that you’d do something like this. I know that much, I can see it in your face. You know what else tells me you’re innocent?” She asked, letting her fist close around the offending rag again ignoring the crinkling sound. She paused for just a moment before answering her own question. “You showed up.”

[josh]

Josh had barely set foot into the room when Hazel unloaded all her questions and thoughts on him. It made him blink a few times, trying to listen as she kept tugging and tearing at the paper. He didn't have to read it to know what it said - he knew it by heart. Every word. Every single detail about how Toby had spun this tale around to make it into something it would never be. It wasn't like him to ever rape anyone, though he couldn't blame the people that believed Toby. Who was gonna call someone like that out to be a liar when you couldn't be completely sure? When maybe this was just as unpredictable as him pushing everyone away had been?

The fact that Hazel still thought of him as a friend made him smile faintly, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. He was tired. Tired of having to defend himself, of talking about the same thing over and over again. It felt like he was going in circles, like he was dancing to some weird unknown tune, the steps increasingly easier. It wasn't a nice dance though, he wished he could get out and let someone else take the spotlight for a while. "I would never rape Toby. I would kill anyone who tried."

[hazelparish]

“I would never rape Toby, I would kill anyone who tried.”

His voice sounded so tired. He looked tired, and Hazel wanted to do something to fix it. Let lighting strike her if Hazel wasn’t hell bent on figuring out a solution to this problem. Hazel could not seem to conceal her irritation, and promptly both hands landed on her hips. She did not look to very intimidating to the naked eye, but anyone who knew Hazel knew once she worked herself into a tizzy there was little to be done to stop it.

“Of course you wouldn’t.” Hazel said with an exasperated sigh, like she already knew this information. She supposed in a way she already did. “Anyone with eyes who bothered to look could see you liked him.” She threw the paper to the side wanting to be ride of it before groaning, some of her anger draining out of her. She was suddenly very tired, and her heart was aching for her friend.

“Josh, what can I do?” She took another hesitant step forward. She wanted to grab Josh and hug him for all she was worth. She wanted to assure him that she would defend him with every breath. She asked, hoping Josh would accept her blatant offer of help and support.

[josh]

“Of course you wouldn’t. Anyone with eyes who bothered to look could see you liked him.”

If the situation had been any different, if this had been a different time, a parallel universe where he was still friends with Toby, Josh would have blushed. Someone had told him, a long time ago, and he had lied through his teeth, knowing that it wouldn't do him much good anyway. He wasn't clueless at lying, knew how to make people believe him, but when it came to Toby...it was there for everyone to see. Still, in all those years he had never done anything about it, had started dating someone else and tried to forget about him. That one fuck had been the worst mistake of his life.

At first he had thought that maybe some good would come of it, that maybe Toby would realize that there were still unresolved issues there. Part of him had foolishly hoped that maybe he would finally be man enough to enter that conversation and be honest with him. About everything that had happened and all the things he'd wished he'd done differently. Instead it left him empty as well as alone. Yet, in some weird, fucked up way, this made him talk to people again. Made him reach out and open up to people that hadn't spoken to him in years.

“Josh, what can I do?”

She stepped closer towards him and for once, Josh didn't step back. He just stayed there, looking at her and shrugging one shoulder, sighing deeply. "I honestly don't know."

[hazelparish]

"I honestly don't know."

Hazel swallowed, a lump suddenly tight in her throat. She wanted to do something, anything to make life just a little bit more bearable for her friend. She wasn’t sure what else she could do; he didn’t really seem all that interested in letting her help either. For once, Hazel thought maybe she should just throw in the towel and admit defeat. She viciously stamped down that feeling, Hazel was a lot of things, and a quitter was not one of them.

“Ok.” She said her voice a little strangled. “That’s ok; I’m sure you’re really overwhelmed by this whole awful thing. Maybe, once you do know you can let me know.” Hazel suggested, hoping that something would actually come out of this ordeal. Maybe Josh could let her in on why he pushed her away and why he ended friendships with so many people. She didn’t want to push her luck however, and did not ask.

Hazel dug into her pocket and pulled out a few heresy kisses. She then proceeded to jam them into her mouth chipmunk style. When Hazel was upset or stressed, she tended to eat chocolate by the handfuls. Suddenly remembering her manners, she dug several more out and held them out to Josh.

[josh]

“That’s ok; I’m sure you’re really overwhelmed by this whole awful thing. Maybe, once you do know you can let me know.”

Josh nodded, disliking the feel that he had upset her somehow. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something on the matter, then closed it again because he wasn't sure what he could say. It wasn't that he didn't need the help or appreciated the offer, he just genuinely didn't know what other people could do, save from believing him. Sure, Hazel had known both him and Toby, but what good would it do to have someone talk to the younger Gryffindor if he himself couldn't even manage to make Toby admit the truth.

He gratefully accepted the chocolate, popping one piece into his mouth and chewing on it thoughtfully. Hazel looked upset, and the fact that she was eating chocolate only confirmed that for him. Josh didn't know exactly why he did it, but he took one step forward and embraced her in a one armed hug. It felt awkward, but also rather nice, so he lingered there for a few seconds, listening to the silence. As he stepped back, he flushed a little, hoping that he hadn't managed to make things worse. "I really appreciate it, Hazel. It means so much to me that you still consider me a friend when I've been a complete ass to you in the past."

[hazelparish]

Hazel was surprised when Josh hugged her, but she melted slightly against his hug, and gently looped his arms around his waist. When he stepped back she released him immediately. She had been grateful for the hug, and the last thing she wanted was for him to think he had upset her; she was just upset about this whole thing. She resisted the urge to shove another handful of chocolate in her mouth. Part of her wanted to march up to Toby and find a way to force him to tell the truth.

"I really appreciate it, Hazel. It means so much to me that you still consider me a friend when I've been a complete ass to you in the past."

Hazel nodded before she swallowed the mouthful of chocolate. She was quiet for a few moments before asking the question she had been dying to ask for a long time. “Could you just tell me why you pushed people away?” Hazel asked softly. “I’ve tried to be really patient and just wait it out, but it’s been a long time. I just want to know why you pushed everyone away.” By everyone away, Hazel had really wanted to ask why he had pushed her away. She had never stopped caring, which is exactly why she had called for this meeting.

[josh]

“Could you just tell me why you pushed people away?”

There it was. The question that he had been dreading for months. He wished it was as simple as just giving her an answer, but it wasn’t. Though the fact that she had been waiting for him was encouraging, Josh was worried that once he told her the truth, she would get angry and leave. Running fingers through his hair, he sighed deeply, fidgeting with his curls for a moment. ”I really...don’t have a good reason. Back then it all sounded logical to me. Now though...Now I’m spending most of my time wishing that I’d done things differently.”

Joshua sat down in one of the window sills, tracing a reflection with his fingers. It was cold outside, the wind howling around the castle. He rather liked the weather, except for the faint trace of snow in the ear. It had always unnerved him, ever since he was a little boy. The first time it had snowed, all his toys looked as though they’d disappeared. For a boy so used to material things, it had come as a complete shock.

”Stuff happened over summer break that I felt really ashamed of. At first I figured...I’d just not tell anyone. But I couldn’t. Toby was asking me how my summer was and I just...Then all of a sudden I was screaming at him to leave me the fuck alone. It was easier that way.” He looked at Hazel helplessly, hoping that she would somehow make sense of his words.