Sympathy [Josh]

[Diana Addair]

It was strange being back in her office again. Strange, but not at all unwelcome. It was nice change of scene from the white, clean pressed linen sheets and very impersonal atmosphere of the Hospital Wing. Everything was just as she had left it, except with a larger pile of essays to mark than she remembered. Well, she’d been away for a week so that was to be expected. Hopefully the classes hadn’t given Tristram too much strife, he always seemed a little fragile, that man.

Although, now that she was finally free to do whatever she wanted, Diana had no clear idea what to do with herself. After a few minutes of pacing repeatedly back and forth, the professor finally brought herself to bite the bullet and she sat down at her desk to get started on the essays. Usually she’d be churning out marks and detailed comments as if she was on seven cups of coffee, but not today. Whether it was the hospital smell still in her head or she wasn’t fully recovered from everything yet she wasn’t sure. Mostly, she thought she was still feeling guilty for inadvertently throwing Adrian back into the mouth of the dragon by asking him to recover her wand from that damn vampire. Hopefully he was all right...

Abandoning the work for later, Diana went over to reread Tristram’s list of the subjects he’s already covered in her absence. She’d gone through it three times and for some reason it’s hadn’t sunk in yet. Text was not her friend today, she mused as she sat down in one of the cushy armchairs in the middle of the room.

[josh]

He was late at turning in his essay. Too late. Though he had definitely been intent on handing in a report - and quite a good one at that - it seemed that lately there was no safe place for him to hang out. Wherever he went there were people glaring at him, threatening to hurt him or actually doing so. Toby had refused to take the story back apparently, and though really Josh should have known better than to hope for a tiny bit of backbone, it still hurt him that his former best friend apparently wanted to get rid of him so badly.

But he was still here, dodging through the hallways and often hanging out with those few people that believed him, so people wouldn't catch him alone. He would spend time talking to Professors, dragging himself into class just after it had started, which apparently screamed his guilt to the many students at Hogwarts.

Eventually he had managed to find a safe place in the Room of Requirement, working on his homework there and finally writing down his Divination essay. It had taken quite a while - his thoughts tended to wander - which was why he was cursing at himself all the way up to the tower. Running fingers through his hair, he forced a normal breathing upon himself before knocking at the door.

[Diana Addair]

The grogginess felt like it was starting to wear off. Attempting to read certainly wasn’t helping so Diana had thrown the report aside some time ago and just leaned back to get a little shut-eye. Attempting to sleep was, of course, dead useless for her in the middle of the day. Diana’s body clock ran on a strict schedule that refused to let even a vampire bite get in the way apparently. Still, there was nothing wrong with just lying back, even if she did have a hundred and one things to get done.

It wasn’t long before Josh’s sharp knocks on the office door resounded around the office. That was odd, the only person who had a reason to knock that she could remember off the top of her head was Adrian, and that was one person she’d happily attempt to avoid forever just to escape her sense of guilt.

Unwillingly she pulled herself out of her chair and dragged her feet to the door to open it, registering a little flicker of surprise at the person she saw. It wasn’t Adrian. It was Josh. Diana opened the door wider, and she quickly noticed the small scroll of parchment that was presumably another essay. That was strange, she didn’t remember setting the students one. It was probably one of Tristram’s then, she realised.

”Josh, are you alright?” she asked, brow furrowing a little. ”You look flustered by something.” Actually, he didn’t really, just a little out of breath and not enough to be picked up on so immediately. It was more a sensation or a vibe he was giving off. Having been just released that day Diana hadn’t had a chance to catch up with all the latest rumours infiltrating the school no thanks to that stupid magazine. In fact, she was probably the last one in the school left who hadn’t caught wind of Tobias Steele’s little story.

[josh]

”Sorry, Professor. I know that my essay is late, but please..” Josh looked up at her, biting down on his bottom lip. He really didn’t want to use the whole situation as an excuse, but he would have handed the damn thing in on time if life hadn’t got in the way. Still, talking about it was difficult. He had slept with Toby, which was stupid and impossible to explain since they weren’t a couple, nor did they like each other.

He had liked Toby. He had loved Toby even, been in love with him for a long time, but he was definitely turning back on that. Not only had Toby made up this cock and bull story about being raped, he set the entire school on him. Every time he saw Headmistress McGonagall he ducked, hoping that she would walk by and not call him into her office to expell him.

Surely letters would be pouring in right now, asking for his expulsion or perhaps even a prison sentence. He could hardly disagree with their thoughts, after all, they would want to protect their children. He would have done the same thing, which was exactly the scariest thing about this entire situation. No matter how honest he was, people would look at the bruises on Toby’s body and believe whatever the younger boy told them.

”I know that I’m probably the last person anyone wants to give a break right now, but..” Josh bit his lip again, feeling tears starting to well up in his eyes. Merlin. Did he really have to collapse into a hopeless blubbering git in front of a Professor? He would have figured he’d be stronger. Able to endure this. But it hit him hard.

[Diana Addair]

Ah, so it was one of Tristram’s essays then. Whatever it was Diana somehow doubted he had traumatised her students enough to bring them to what looked like the verge of tears for handing in an essay late. Unless they did something awful to make him snap at least, it was always the quiet ones you had to watch, but she doubted that was the case. This was caused by something else, she was instinctively sure of it.

Sure enough, tears started welling in Josh’s eyes right on cue. Oh dear. Diana was hardly a psychologist or school counsellor, and in her current state especially she wasn’t entirely sure if she could deal with this at the moment. However, no way in hell she was turning Josh around in a state like that, she’d kill herself if she did and the last thing she needed was more guilt. He wasn’t crying yet but he was definitely close to it. Poor kid.

”It doesn’t matter about the essay. Come on in,” Diana said determinedly, opening the door fully and helping to steer Josh into one of the armchairs. ”Are you all right?” Stupid question she realised, of course he wasn’t. ”What’s happened?”

[josh]

Professor Addair seemed nice enough about the whole situation, gently leading him into the room and making him sit down in one of the many chairs the room had to offer. He sniffed a little, rubbing at his eyes in a tired motion. They were slightly red from rubbing at them these days. Everything was just piling up and he was so tired that he could barely focus on his homework, whenever he did have time to work on them.

”Are you all right? What’s happened?”

He looked up at her, wondering. How could she not know? Of course, he realized, she'd been in the hospital for a few days, but how did she miss out on something that the entire school was buzzing about? Further more, how could she not know if she was supposed to have the gift? Josh took a deep breath, looking down at his shoes rather than face the Professor.

"There was a rather...nasty article in the school newspaper about me, Professor" He sounded rather timid, fidgeting with his hands as he had them in his lap, glancing up at her for a moment. "It accused me of raping someone." He decided not to lapse into explanation, since it barely ever did him any good.

[Diana Addair]

Josh? Raping someone? Diana didn’t need any sort of power to find that questionable. Josh had always been so, well, polite and unassuming, but you know what they say about the last people you suspect. In any case Josh was adequately traumatised by the whole ordeal and nothing in anything she was picking up from him suggested he was guilty of attacking Toby.

Toby? Felt like it was Toby. Always been some sort of vibe between those two.

”That’s a pretty serious accusation,” she frowned. This was going to require some heavy duty artillery. Leaving Josh on the couch Diana moved to one of the draws on the side of her desk and pulled out some tealeaves and sugar. In a flash she’d conjured up some milk and a mug from the teacher’s staffroom and attempted to fill it with steaming hot water. Until her own wand turned up she was limited to using a very old looking elm wand that clearly resented being held by a stranger. It took her three times to get the horrendously simple spell hot water to work.

”There we go,” she said, trying to sound light about it although she could tell immediately her voice was coming out a little strained. After handing Josh the tea (she wasn’t even sure if he drank tea, though it made her feel better to give him some anyway) she went and sat down in a chair opposite him to mull it over. ”Has McGonagall heard about it? Because if she believes the rumours she probably would have done something by now so I think you’re safe. What about you though? How are you holding up?”

[josh]

Josh took the tea gratefully, taking a few sips though he usually didn’t really like tea with sugar and milk. Still, wasn’t it supposedly good for people that were in shock? Was that what happened? Was he still in shock over what Toby had done to him? Maybe that was why sometimes he felt so numb, felt like telling everyone that yeah, it was true, so at least they could feel justified in hurting him. Maybe then it would reach that breaking point where even he had to admit that it was enough, that perhaps leaving would be the best course of action.

As the Professor began to speak, her voice was too light to really be natural, but he appreciated the effort all the same. The comment about McGonagall eased the knot in his stomach slightly, though the tea could also be working. He briefly wondered whether or not she’d offer to read his future from the tea leaves later, decided not to ask in fear of really knowing whether or not he’d be expelled.

” Because if she believes the rumours she probably would have done something by now so I think you’re safe. What about you though? How are you holding up?”

Hearing that made him look up at her, hoping and praying that she was right. Though at the same time he was scared. What if something like this had really happened, to another student, by another student? Not all articles in Aparecium were false by default. At the very least, it warranted investigation. It was only fair, even if he was the wronged party in this case. ”A lot of people...most of them at least, they believe it’s true. They’re not too friendly at the moment.”

[Diana Addair]

”I’m going to have to ask MGonagall to get the article removed. It’s probably too late, it it’s better than still having it still circulating around.” Stupid magazine. Diana had always felt it caused more problems than it solved as of late, and the reason it was even still allowed to run was simply beyond her. Especially if the magazine was going to run stories as potentially life ruining as this one when there wasn’t even solid proof, she’d have thought McGonagall would have withdrawn the previous issue already. It was a matter that never should have been made public and Josh was clearly suffering for some idiots lack of foresight.

”Honestly, I don’t think anything happened that wasn’t, well, you know, as above board as these things can get,” Diana said, picking her words carefully. She didn’t mind gay couples at all, though she reserved the right to avoid listening to details if she could. Some people however were unusually sensitive on the matter despite the large amount of less than heterosexual males around the school these days. Diana liked to think of it as a fad, but, that remained to be seen. ”It was Tobias Steele right? What’s he said about everything so far?”

[josh]

Josh listened to her, wondering if that would really make a difference. If McGonagall removed the article, chances were that everyone who hadn’t read it, would mysteriously do so in the next twenty-four hours. And besides, it didn’t matter when everyone he knew or had ever cared about were either involved or already knew the gossip. There weren’t many people that hadn’t seen Toby come down with bruises all over his body.

”Honestly, I don’t think anything happened that wasn’t, well, you know, as above board as these things can get. It was Tobias Steele right? What’s he said about everything so far?”

For a moment there, Josh was surprised that she knew, then relaxed when he realized that of course, she was a Divination Professor. If anyone would know what really happened, it’d be her, unless she was a big old fake like Trelawney had been. He ran fingers through his hair, sipping from the ridiculously sweet tea, which was oddly enough making him feel slightly better. ”I would never say it wasn’t rough, but it was definitely consensual. He just...I don’t know if he planned it or just went along with the rumors, but when I caught him in the library he made himself into a victim. Told me that I shouldn’t talk to him, that I’d already stolen something sacred.”

Joshua’s voice was bitter as he said it, brown eyes dark and cold as he gazed into the cup, still trying to blink away the tears. He would like to believe that Toby hadn’t planned it all, that at least some part of it had been genuine that night. But the more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed to become.