I'll Be OK [Jake]

[ashley]

"You mean you didn't want me to see you vulnerable like this? Everyone's vulnerable sometimes, Ash.."

He sniffled again, tightening his arms around Jake, practically clinging to the older boy, though he figured the other would be able to take it. God, he felt so stupid, crying like a baby in the hallway, having to be comforted like this. In a way, Ash was crying for what had happened, not because of it. He was crying because he knew that his life would be like this...that he’d never be able to live a full life. He wouldn’t be able to do stupid things like walking down the aisle, playing Quidditch with his kids, enjoy a simple walk in the snow. He would always have to be cared for.

”Sometimes, yea. The difference is that I always am.” He mumbled it bitterly before sitting up straight, wiping at his eyes and taking a deep breath. ”Look, you don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.” Ashley was torn between wanting Jake to spend time with him and not wanting to make the other feel like he depended on him. He did, but he didn’t want to. It wasn’t fair to ask a boyfriend to take care of you 24/7, let alone a friend. Maybe those guys had been right. Maybe he’d be better off somewhere being homeschooled. It would definitely make life a lot easier.

A lot duller too, but he was so sick of always having to be the one others had to worry about, change plans for. Of always having to say ‘look guys, you might think it’s that simple, but it’s not’. At the end of the day, people like Seth and August and Jake would go and leave him, and they’d be done with it, but Ash was stuck being this person, being the disease rather than having it. He never got to escape, and it was horrible being stuck. He never wanted to do that to another person he cared about.

[mikeym]

Jake hated seeing Ash this upset, it made Jake feel a bit helpless even though he was doing his best to be there for him. Ash had become one of the most important people in his life and seeing him hurting was a blow to Jake as if they had insulted him instead. "I didn't hear what they said to you, but you shouldn't listen to assholes like that. They don't know how strong you are.." he said quietly looking at him.

”Sometimes, yea. The difference is that I always am.”

Sighing softly when he pulled away, Jake just dropped his arms but he didn't make any move to get up. He shrugged when he said that Jake didn't have to stay. "I don't have to, but that doesn't mean I don't want to stay." he said matter-of-factly looking at Ash. He didn't think Ash was dependent on him for anything but possibly helping him back into his chair, and for Jake to be a good friend.

"We can sit here all night really. I have no where else to go, and I don't want to go anywhere right now." He leaned back on his hands to make a point that he had no desire to leave Ash's side. Not out of pity or wanting to baby him, but out of lo-, well that might be going a bit far. Out of friendship he was going to stay until he thought Ash was okay.

[ashley]

Jake was such a nice guy and Ashley honestly didn’t feel like he deserved it at this moment. He was trying to push him away but the older male was having none of it, and he had to admit that he would have been slightly disappointed, had the other respected his wishes and left. Making a small noise in the back of his throat, he simply sighed and ran fingers through his hair.

The headache was fading slightly, giving him hope that things weren’t as bad as they had seemed. The blonde still tasted blood in his mouth though, making him wince as he dug through his pockets, trying to find one of the sweets that were usually scattered all over his bag. Finding a butterscotch candy, he popped it into his mouth, relishing the sweet taste that replaced the slightly bitter taste of blood. Sucking on it for a moment, he looked at Jake, who had remained quiet for the past few minutes.

”You’re a great guy Jake. Really, a great guy.” Ash’s voice was soft as he reached out, squeezing Jake’s hand where it had been put on the floor. He wanted to forget all about tonight, and not worry about his future. It wasn’t usually like him to go all depressed, but the fact that he would have been seriously injured, had the Ravenclaw not stepped in, really hit him hard. He wasn’t supposed to need protection.

[mikeym]

Jake flashed Ash a small smile when he heard that little noise that signaled he was giving up on sending him away. Looking at the split in the other boy's lip, Jake winced a little knowing how much one of those would sting constantly. He'd had one once and it hurt for a couple of days. "Think there's a charm to help that heal faster?" he murmured, not sure if there was one or not. He didn't know much about healing spells since he had no interest in becoming a healer. Probably one of the few things he hadn't read up on to know just in case, now he was wishing he had at least for small wounds like that.

He turned his hand over to squeeze Ash's hand back, holding onto it a little longer than usual before letting it go. "Thanks.. but I'm just a normal guy, and a good friend" he said, not thinking he was great. Sometimes, yes he could be, but not great all around. Seeing Ash starting to mope just slightly, Jake got an idea and he hoped that it would lift the younger boy's mood.

"Hey. I have an idea.." he sat up, reaching over to touch Ash's arm "If you're feeling up for it, we could sneak down to Hogsmeade and check out the new hot chocolate flavor at Madam Puddifoots? I hear it's supposed to be the best hot chocolate ever..plus we can grab a bite somewhere since it's almost dinner time." The knowledge of Puddifoots being THE place for the mushiest dates totally slipped Jake's mind as he asked this. He looked at Ash hopefully, wanting him to be in a better mood since Jake had a free night without homework anyway and he had been hoping to run into Ash to ask him to hang out.

[ashley]

Ashley shrugged a shoulder when Jake asked whether or not the split lip could be fixed up. He honestly didn’t care about it much. Yeah it hurt, but he had had worse. Besides, he wasn’t ashamed of what had happened. If anything, the boys should be ashamed of what they had done. He was pretty sure that there were some friends who would get livid at them, and he almost pitied the Slytherins. Jake for one had definitely been a little frightening.

"If you're feeling up for it, we could sneak down to Hogsmeade and check out the new hot chocolate flavor at Madam Puddifoots? I hear it's supposed to be the best hot chocolate ever..plus we can grab a bite somewhere since it's almost dinner time."

He arched one eyebrow, looking up at Jake. If he didn’t know any better, that almost sounded like a date. The idea made him smile, but his head was still pounding and he should probably do the sensible thing and go lie down. Ash didn’t really want to though. Dinner, spending time with the older boy, it sounded amazing. So he smiled a little, running fingers through his blonde hair as if he was trying to make himself look more attractive. He did it without noticing what he was doing though.

”That sounds great. I don’t know about the sneaking part though. Might be a little difficult with my squeaky wheelchair” The fact that Jake wanted to cheer him up – because surely it must have been inspired by that, the other would not consider dating him – made him feel better instantly. The Hufflepuff was hoping that Jake would become a close friend.

[mikeym]

Jake's mind had started to float back to what he saw when he first rounded the corner. He'd seen a couple of boots knock into Ash's head despite the younger male trying to defend himself, and that worried him. He had first thought to ask Ash to go have a lie down someplace, but wasn't really wanting to leave him on his own. Just incase. People with concussions or something sometimes didn't wake up, that thought made Jake's chest tighten unpleasantly, so he pushed it away.

Seeing the raised eyebrow he just shrugged a shoulder "Only if you want to" he said, not wanting to push Ash into doing something with him when he could already have a plan for that evening that Jake wasn't thinking about. Jake was a little apprehensive about Ash's response until he saw the little smile and the familiar hands-raking through hair movement. That was something that he did when he was at least semi-happy about something.

Puddifoots being the frilly pink-laden date spot was still the least worrisome thing on his mind. The thought of Ash believing that it was a date proved to be a little difficult in swallowing. If Ash wanted to think that, and it made him feel better then Jake was willing to let him think that for the time being. Who knows, maybe it'd turn into one because of their previous encounter in the bath.

"Pah.. squeaky wheelchair" he turned around slightly, sliding his wand from his pocket to flick it in the chair's direction casting a silencing charm on it. He leaned over to roll the chair back n forth for a moment before smirking slightly at Ash. "No more squeaky wheelchair. Still up for an escape attempt?" he asked pocketing the wand again and shifting to sit on his knees, ready to stand up and help Ashley get back into his chair so they could go.

[ashley]

Ashley nodded, smiling when Jake fixed his wheelchair so they could sneak out without anyone hearing them. It was a sweet gesture. But he really needed to stop this. Jake was incredibly cute, but a little dense sometimes. He didn’t really seem to notice how he worded particular phrases, so Ash figured it was best to let the other know he wasn’t seeing this as more than it was. ”Yeah, it’d be cool to hang out. Spending time with friends sure beats getting kicked around”

He didn’t emphasize the word friends, because as stupid as it might sound, he didn’t want Jake to think that he thought it would be a date. Or that thoughts of dating were anywhere in his mind really. Friends could go and hang out, even if it was somewhere as dubious as Madame Puddifoots tea-shop. The brunette had simply offered to go and check out the new hot chocolate they sold there, and that was all it was. An innocent offer to spend some time together. The last thing their friendship needed was for things to get complicated.

There was just one thing that Ashley needed to say before they left this hallway, before he would allow Jake to help him into his wheelchair. ”Thanks, Jake. This would have been a lot worse if you hadn’t come by.” His brown eyes met the others blue ones. ”And I’m sorry for being such an ass. It’s just...so fucking frustrating, to not be able to protect myself.” The last part sounded slightly sad, but he smiled at Jake, not wanting to get into this.

[mikeym]

"Yeah.." he murmured, sensing a little bit of moodiness coming from Ash with that statement. It just didn't seem like the normal happy tone. Jake made a mental note to straighten out his exact thoughts about Ash. He'd been thinking the last few days but apparently was still blurting out things that made Ash think twice about everything the Ravenclaw said.

Jake was quiet while Ashley thanked him and apologized, smiling slightly. "You're welcome for the help, and are forgiven for being an ass." He wanted to add that he would have acted the same way it if happened to him, but then Ash might come back again saying that it didn't happen to him and would might be more depressed.

He started to stand up, reaching over to put his hand on Ash's forearm "Ready to get up now?" he asked softly, rubbing his thumb over his skin(or sleeve if he was wearing a long sleeved shirt).

[ashley]

He was stupid for thinking that Jake would think twice about what he was saying. It was just his own perverted brain that took every statement and twisted it to his liking. Really, he should just man up and tell Jake that he shouldn’t worry about his own thoughts. It wasn’t like he was waiting for the Ravenclaw to ask him out. He was absolutely fine with being friends...no, that was a big, fat lie. He would love to try, but he knew that the other didn’t see him like that, and that was fine. It was probably stupid to date someone so soon anyway.

The thoughts kept buzzing in Ashleys brain and he sighed, running fingers through his hair and giving the brunette an apologetic smile. ”Sorry, my head is kinda pounding.” He hoped that Jake would accept it as an excuse for being odd and not worry or wonder about his behavior any further. The last thing they needed was to play the guessing game, trying to find out the meaning behind words, behind what wasn’t said or intended in the first place.

”Yeah, I’m good. That one guy had steel-toed boots though. Fucker.” He winced a bit as the Ravenclaw helped him back into his wheelchair, letting out a relieved breath when he was finally sitting again. ”Good thing I’m used to pain though” He smiled up at Jake again, squeezing his hand softly, not wanting the older male to worry too much over him.

[mikeym]

Jake nodded slightly "No doubt it was.. they looked like they were trying to use your head for a ball or something" he said sounding bitter, wishing he'd gotten there sooner but he'd lingered outside of the Transfiguration room instead.

"What an asshole." He murmured softly as he helped him up. As he helped Ash get settled in his chair, he smiled slightly back at him and returned the squeeze. He gathered Ash's books up and tucked them away in his own bag, slipping it over his shoulder before he handed Ash's wand back. He looked around the stone floor to see if there was anything else he'd missed that belonged to Ash that may have been scattered.

Once he determined that he had everything he looked at Ash with a smile, hoping that they could put the afternoons events behind them quickly. A better mood for both of them would be awesome as well but Jake wouldn't get his hopes up too high. Things like that would hang around like rain clouds for days sometimes.