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Post by ryan on Jan 7, 2009 20:27:06 GMT 1
Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't happening. Was it? Oh God, it was. Dominique was pregnant. She was carrying his baby. In less than nine months, she was gonna pop out something that would demand his attention for the next eighteen years. That would spend the first six months crying, eating and shitting all over the place. Oh Christ. Oh Fuck.
This was stupid. It wasn't like he'd just found out. Felix had told him, earlier on today. He'd been dealing well then. It was afterwards, when he was alone, when he had time to think...
Thinking was never a good thing for Ryan Robins. It led to freakouts like these, to him pacing the corridor up to the Hufflepuff Dormitory time and again, wanting to see Acia...wanting to talk to her, and not wanting it at the same time. He kept close to opening the portrait hole, then chickened out and attempted to walk off, only to reconsider before he exited the hallway.
Groaning, he rubbed at his face, trying to take deep steadying breaths, but it felt like the oxygen had been sucked from the room. What was he going to do? What was he going to say to Dominique? He had totally chickened out of meeting her in Hogsmeade, knowing that if he faced her now, he would not be able to do the sensible thing and comfort her whilst she cried into his shoulder. Instead he'd be yelling at her, asking her how she could have been so stupid, why she hadn't told him before, how in the hell that ghastly paper had found out.
There was a copy in his hands, crumpled up but then smoothed out again, the creases that he had made in his angry spell still visible on the paper. He whirled around one last time, determined to find Acia this time, but his courage was wavering long before he managed to reach the portrait hole. |
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Post by aciaraydon on Jan 7, 2009 21:28:04 GMT 1
Acia had been sitting in one of the soft chairs in her common room, working on her Christmas present for Levi while he wasn’t around. Her wrists were aching from the constant motion of sewing, and her fingertips were red raw from pushing the needle through the fabrics. Generally, she was aching all over and her vision was starting to blur a little from fatigue. With a sigh, she stuck the needle in to the fabric, and took the work in progress up to her dorm room to hide under her bed. It was far too early to go to bed, though her brain was thoroughly worn down. The helpful, lovable kitchen elves could probably whip up some coffee or chocolate to fix this problem. With a nod to herself, she decided to act on this plan, and made her way out of the dorms, through the common room and to the entrance.
Swinging the portrait open, Acia daintily stepped out, watching her feet carefully like always to make sure she didn’t fall over any kind of unseen step. Of course, she didn’t, and pretty soon she swung the portrait shut and looked up again. She was taken aback to come face-to-face with Ryan, who was in the middle of another journey to the portrait hall. She managed to stop herself screaming, but still hopped back a bit out of shock.
”Wha...Ry! Why...? What are you...” Wide-eyed in surprised and stumbling clumsily over her words, she stopped her mouth from talking and studied the boy. He looked dishevelled, disgruntled and positively stressed. Something was quite obviously wrong with him, she judged by his appearance and his being in the Hufflepuff corridor that it was something quite drastic, too.
”What’s wrong?” She asked with a frown, concerned for the boy. Her blue eyes scanned him one more time, spotting the crumpled paper in his hands. She let out a small groan. ”Oh, god. What did they do this time?”
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Post by ryan on Jan 7, 2009 21:48:33 GMT 1
As the Portrait hole swung open, Ryan recoiled, wondering whether or not he could manage to get out of the corridor unseen. Realizing that it would most likely look as if he was insane – not that he was contradicting that fact, it just didn’t mean everyone had to know – he turned back around, taking a few steps in the direction of whoever was exiting the Commons. Maybe he could sneak in and find her there...Which was probably a bad plan and he really should...
His name was called out then, and he blinked, suddenly realizing that the one person he wanted to talk to was in front of him. ”Ace!” Ryan sounded relieved, looking as if he was about to throw himself onto the younger Hufflepuff girl. Instead though, he shoved the paper at her in silence, knowing every word by heart by now. The moment he had returned from Hogsmeade he had searched the castle furiously, eventually stealing one of the copies from a first year Ravenclaw. Probably not the nicest thing he’d done today, but he couldn’t be bothered.
”They...She’s...And I...” The Slytherin rubbed at his neck, letting out a long groan as he thrusted the paper at her, wishing that he could just close his eyes and go back in time. Preferably to the moment where he had made her pregnant, so he could undo it all. Why did he have to listen to his dick rather than his brain? Wait...wizards had time turners didn’t they? Couldn’t he just go and explain it all to McGonagall, go back in time and somehow manage to avoid this whole situation? |
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Post by aciaraydon on Jan 7, 2009 22:29:05 GMT 1
Grasping the paper in front of her, Acia’s eyes quickly flittered over the article, every word sinking in to her brain. She finished it in barely a minute, thankful for her ability to speed read things, and to do it in detail too. Once she finished, she screwed up her face in disgust and threw the vile piece of steaming rubbish down on the floor, and threw her arms around the elder boy.
”Those horrid, horrid, horrid people.” She muttered, hugging the boy tight. ”I swear, If I find out who’s doing this to you, I’ll... I’ll...”
She didn’t know what she’d do, but it’d definitely be something major. She pulled back from her hug and eyed Ryan carefully. He looked dreadful. She wracked her brain for the best possible thing to do for him, and settled with sitting herself down on the floor in the corridor, attempting to drag him with her. The boy seriously needed some down time, or some help to sort out his mind, and she hoped to help him do one of those.
”Okay... Well... Have you asked her about it, yet?” She asked him softly, taking hold of one of his hands. She sensed that the answer was no, because he didn’t seem to be in the right frame of mind to even phrase a simple sentence, let alone ask a girl if she was actually carrying his baby. Still, it was worth asking.
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Post by ryan on Jan 7, 2009 22:50:12 GMT 1
Ryan eased into the hug, clinging to her and allowing her to sink the both of them down to the ground. As he sat down next to her, he sank into her arms again, putting her head on his shoulder and closing his eyes. He hadn’t been in this position since an early age on, not with his parents at least. His gouvernante, who had known everything about him, had often hugged him and made him feel like it was alright not to know everything, to just be a little boy once and again, no matter how old he was. But to be hugging someone like this...it hadn’t happened since the last time he saw her.
When Acia asked whether or not he had confronted Dominique he just shook his head, not really wanting to say anything. She knew him like no one else did. She knew of his borderline, of the way it manifested itself. She knew how his own mind could drive him crazy, drive him to the point where he didn’t know what to do anymore. He was at that point now. He just didn’t fucking know. What to do, where to turn, who to tell. He needed a plan, needed something that would make sense of the chaos, but his own brain was shutting down on him, whirling thoughts in and out at such a speed that he wanted to yell at it to shut up. |
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Post by aciaraydon on Jan 7, 2009 23:04:07 GMT 1
”Oh lord, Ry. Come here...” She said softly as he leaned on her, folding her arms around him once again. She held him close and stroked the side of his face softly, trying her hardest to comfort him. She knew that the paper was most likely lying out of their backside, just trying to produce the same old life ruining garbage that it spurted every week. She also knew that he really needed to talk to Dominique before he got himself into a right mess. But then she realised that he already had, and right now wasn’t the right time for planning and talking and making him reason things through in his mind. Right now, she sensed that he needed to wait for his head to stop reeling, and then they can make a plan.
”Come on, Ryan, honey...” She whispered to him, not entirely sure what to do but attempting to do it anyway. ”I’m here for you. Don’t worry. “
She pushed her lips to his forehead, hoping that she’d be at least some help to him. She really didn’t want Ryan to feel like this, and she’d do anything to stop it if she could. So she rested her head on top of his, and continued whispering calming words to him, just preying that they’d help.
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Post by ryan on Jan 7, 2009 23:25:14 GMT 1
Ryan listened to her calming voice for a while, eyes closed, an occasional whimper slipping from his lips. He would never let himself go like this with anyone else, save for Marius. Acia and the Slytherin were the only two who completely knew him, more so even than Toby did. He shared different things with Toby. It was hard to explain, but he wouldn’t break down so completely in front of the younger Gryffindor. Not that he was ashamed of his feelings, he just discussed his problems more than he actually broke down about them.
”What if it turns out to be like me, Ace? I can’t...I can’t let that happen. I can’t have a kid.” His voice sounded desperate, as if there was some way that the Hufflepuff could reverse what had happened. As if this could still turn out to be a bad dream. ”I can’t do this to anyone else. It would be so selfish..” And yet, if he had to, he had to be a dad. He wouldn’t chicken out and leave, he wouldn’t let Dominique raise it on her own and only be the kids father in name. He just wasn’t sure whether or not it would be enough. |
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Post by aciaraydon on Jan 11, 2009 18:54:26 GMT 1
”I know you couldn’t. I know.” Her voice was soft as she spoke to him, still stroking the side of his face with one hand and holding him to her with the other one. ”But you don’t even know if it’ll have your problem yet. Don’t let that idea do this to you, honey...”
The younger girl worried for the Slytherin. If the mere thought of having a child pushed him to the verge of having a breakdown, what would happen when he actually had the baby, and was faced with having to look after it? Acia had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to deal with it - even though she knew he’d try his very hardest, she could tell it would be a struggle for him and dreaded to think how react. He wasn’t often very good at looking after his own life, but she knew the boy would work himself into the ground before he gave up trying to look after the baby. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that, IF Dominique was pregnant and having a baby, it wouldn’t do Ryan much good.
If being the operative word. Acia didn’t know whether to believe the article or not, because knowing the vicious people that wrote things that appeared in the hell-rag, it was probably just another easy way to destroy someone’s life. However, if it was true, what would the elder boy do? She didn’t know the wizarding world very well, or at least not this side of it. Magical pregnancies and things like it weren’t mentioned when any of the magical half of her family spoke about the wizarding world. What did they do if they were pregnant? Did they have ultrasound scans like muggles, or some magical way of doing it instead? What about when the baby wasn’t wanted? She was full of questions, but decided that they were definitely not as important as the situation at hand.
”Is there nothing you can... do? I mean like...” She trailed off. Moments later, she sighed, annoyed at her inability to form a better sentence, and kissed his forehead gently. ”I don’t know what I mean. Just... I’ll be here for you either way, Ry. I promise. Once you’re thinking straighter, I’ll help you figure out what to do...”
She bit her lip, feeling thoroughly helpless. What else could she do for the boy at the moment? For now, that was the best she could promise him.
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Post by ryan on Jan 12, 2009 17:12:59 GMT 1
Ryan just clung to her, letting her talk to him, though he bristled when she asked if there was something he could do. As much as he hated the thought of his child turning out like him, he could never give up on it. He could never walk away or get rid of it. Not to mention, it wasn’t even his decision. Only if Dominique told him that she didn’t want the child, then he could try to influence her to still carry out the pregnancy. He would, too. No matter how tough it would be, he never wanted to end up like his father.
”I would never do that. I won’t turn out like my parents, knowing that their child was a mistake from the moment he was born. My child...it will be loved. I will take care of it. No matter what.” He withdrew from her, wrapping arms around his knees as he hugged them to his chest, his voice changing from determined to the little boys voice that snuck up on him when he was severely scared of freaked out. ”I...don’t know how yet.” But he’d try. Like she had said, he would try until it killed him. OoC: Blah, short >< |
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Post by aciaraydon on Jan 15, 2009 19:43:03 GMT 1
Acia winced slightly as he pulled himself away from her, feeling that she’d said something or done something to offend him. She knew he’d never give up on the baby, and felt ridiculous for even thinking of it. Ryan was a good man, even if some people didn’t think so. Whatever happened, to Dominique or to do with this baby, he’d try his hardest for them both. She knew this, which made her feel even worse for thinking he’d even consider such a dreadful thing. She turned towards him, leaning her head against the wall.
”I know you wouldn’t do that. I didn’t even think you would. I’m sorry...” She sighed and started tracing patterns on the dusty floor with her finger. She gave the boy a fond glance, and a small smile, before deciding to tell her what she’d been thinking about seconds before. ”You’re a good person, Ryan, do you know that?”
Even when he sounded as scared and confused as he did right now, Acia had no doubt in her mind that eventually, he would come to the right decision. And, now she thought about it, she would love to have him as her father. He was so sweet and loving, no matter what impression he gave to everyone else. If he showed the same care and devotion to his child, there was no way he could go wrong. In fact, if he acted like the Ryan Robins she knew, the only mistake he could make would be being overprotective.
”I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She said softly. She realised this sounded quite stupid – of course having a baby was something to worry about – so she hurried to explain this idea. ”About being a father, I mean. I think you’d be a great one... I’d adore you if you were mine...”
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