|
Post by ryan on Jan 16, 2009 17:11:21 GMT 1
God, she was so sweet. When she talked to him like that, told him that he was a good person and would make a good father...Ryan believed her. It wasn’t just that he wanted her to be right, that he wished that she would somehow speak words that influenced the future. No, when Acia was saying things like this, it was almost as if he was looking at himself through her eyes. It was partly why he loved her so much. She made him feel like he was worth having around.
”I just want to make the right decisions. For her, as well as for the baby. I think she might love me...” He was fairly certain that she did, even if he didn’t completely understand. She seemed to be willing to accept all his negative traits, but that had been when they were dating. Was she really ready to commit to him for life? And was he?
Ryan knew that he didn’t love her. He just didn’t know if he ever would. It was so much easier to commit to a baby than to a future with Dominique. Yes, he liked her. He liked spending time with her. She was sweet and gentle and accepting. But could he spend his life with that? With having a girlfriend, a wife even, who accepted him, regardless of how badly he screwed up? Yes, he wanted it. He wanted someone who would take in all of him...but at what cost? It wouldn’t be fair to let her deal with all his shit and not being able to love her in return.
|
|
|
Post by aciaraydon on Jan 22, 2009 19:11:53 GMT 1
She gave the elder boy a considerate look, before leaning forward, resting her elbow on her leg and holding her head in one hand. It was strange to her to think that Ryan could end up committing to and spending the rest of his life with someone he didn’t love. She wouldn’t say this to him, she knew it wouldn’t help him any and it would only make him more upset over the whole situation. On top of that, she’d only be telling him what he already knew. But it seemed very odd to her that one could be in a relationship where one person was happy, head over heels in love and would probably give their life for their partner, whereas the other was rather miserable, and completely in love with someone else. His relationship with Dominique was like this already, but that wasn‘t so bad when there wasn’t really any proposition of commitment. To imagine Ryan leading a life that left him miserable... well, it upset her deeply.
”Maybe you could come up with a way that can make you both happy?” Acia suggested this, then realised how silly it was. She physically slapped her hand to her head. If Domi was in love with Ryan, but Ryan didn’t love her... How could that be evened out? There wasn’t an equilibrium there, they couldn’t really meet in the middle. She considered this for a few more minutes.
If she were in Dominique’s situation, where she loved a boy that didn’t love her... Well, she’d want him to be happy. Whether she was carrying his child or not. She wouldn’t want to force the man into staying with her if he wasn’t happy, just because she was having a kid. She decided to voice this opinion.
”I think... If she knew you didn’t love her as much as you loved...” She hesitated, and decided against using name to prevent any more upset. ”As much as you loved anyone else. I think she’d be happier if you were to be with someone else. When you love someone, you just want them to be happy... No matter what your situation... And you’re never happy until they are. No matter how much pain it causes you at first, you know that once they’re happy, you will be too.”
She looked at Ryan, then wrapped her arms around him to give him a quick squeeze. ”Eventually, you’ll need to talk to her. About everything.”
|
|
|
Post by ryan on Jan 23, 2009 17:04:22 GMT 1
Ryan listened to her in silence, wishing that he could be as calm and rational about things like this. She did make sense, her words sounded like they could be true, but Dominique didn’t want him to leave. She wanted him to be with her, to try, and he had promised. How could he go back on that now? Especially when they were expecting a baby together...it would be like running away from her. Like giving up.
He wished that he could make her happy, he really did. She was a wonderful girl and she deserved the best. It was just...Ryan knew that he wasn’t. She deserved so much more than what he was giving to her, and yet it seemed like she was willing to settle for having him around. He figured...if that’s what she wanted, then his happiness wouldn’t be too big a price, would it? Making sure that she was happy, regardless of how he really felt, it would be something he could do, right?
When she mentioned Tristram, he winced. He honestly hadn’t had time to consider the older male’s feelings, though he had an idea what this would do to their fragile relationship – if you could even call it that. Things had been said that night, and he had been hoping that something could come of it, but was that really even reasonable? Especially now Domi was pregnant. How could he say fuck it and aim for the stars with someone like Professor Blake? Their relationship, aside from being horribly complicated, was illegal and wrong. Throwing a baby in the mix sure didn’t make this any easier.
|
|