Post by The Editor on May 27, 2010 3:10:34 GMT 1
OMG, can you believe that...
[/color][/font]ADRIAN CONNERY IS A VIRGIN?
February 12, 2025[/center]
It’s no secret that Adrian Connery is one of the most uptight professors on the Hogwarts Staff and Aparecium believes they have discovered why: Professor Connery seriously needs to get laid. A little digging into the undoubtedly sexually frustrated teacher’s past reveals he has never had what you could call a serious relationship and Aparecium feels confident in inferring that he never managed to seal the deal, so to speak.
Instead Connery has focussed on his career, allowing his personal life to fall by the wayside and letting us students suffer the consequences. Aparecium is starting a petition to get the Gryffindor Head of House a girlfriend as we feel enough students have received unfair detentions from the unnecessarily strict and humourless professor. The petition can be found on the school noticeboard and a copy will be passed around at mealtimes if you want to make a stand.
Even the other staff feel it is high time Connery got his jollies off and Arithmancy Professor Abraham Grey was more than happy to sign the petition when it was presented to him, stating; ‘Obviously I want all my colleagues to feel happy and satisfied in every aspect of their lives, particularly if it may be affecting their job performance. To anybody interested I hear peanut butter is like catnip to Adrian.’ We only hope Connery finds the right woman before the pressure becomes too much…
