Don't Fear the Reaper {Finlay}

[Scotty Kovac]

”That’s it kids, Hogwarts castle, where you’ll be learning all sorts of magical things.”
”Hey Scotty, chuck it over here. Come on, you’re the worst quaffle thrower I’ve ever seen!”
“Quick! You’ve got the jar, catch the summer fireflies before they get out of reach!”
“This is so sweet, thanks for setting this up. Totally romantic by the lake, thanks mate.”
“I’ll punch that smug grin off your face Kovac!”

Although the night was silent, a thousand voices echoed across the still lake. To the deathly pale boy standing at the water’s edge they were memories of the times he’d been on the Hogwarts side of the shore. Now he was stuck, staring longingly at the great lit up castle from the opposite bank no longer allowed to enter its great hall and walk along its many corridors. A few weeks ago he’d thought he was dead as he lay bleeding in an alley and now Scotty kind of wished he was. Now that he’d escaped Vivian and Sam for the first time in weeks he was wishing he’d been caught sneaking away.

There was a dull ache in his gut as he glanced up to where no doubt a feast was in full swing. His old life as a wizard had been pulled out from under his feet. No longer could he see his old friends or, even worse, his family as a newly changed vampire. He didn’t know how they’d react to his new state but he’d exiled himself away from them, too afraid that what had happened in the hospital would happen to them too because of him and his new instincts.

With a sigh, Scott turned away, unable to look at the glass-like lake but still hearing the voices of the past shouting out to him. ”SHUT UP!” he roared inhumanly. Even in the dark of the night, no one could have missed the seemingly innocent looking boy’s elongated canines glinting dangerously in the moonlight. They betrayed what he was, what he had become. As the dying echoes of his outburst faded, Scotty broke down.

There sitting at the water’s edge, he wept for all that he had lost and all he had done since waking in the morgue. His thoughts wandered to Fin, how he wished he could take back what he’d done to her. The memories of the rape made the ex-Gryffindor shout in frustration again. As if to remind the boy he was no longer human, the familiar sound of a heartbeat sounded out from the forest to signal a human’s approach. Luckily Sam had fed him otherwise no doubt Scott would have slipped into the hunter he’d been at St. Mungo’s.

[Finlay Cassandra Mackenzie]

[atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/2yotog1.png,true][atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/9prvw0.png][atrb=style,padding:0px 50px;background-position:top;background-repeat:no-repeat;] Life hadn't exactly been normal for Fin since the attack. She had returned to school, after meeting after meeting with the teachers and counselors. It had been decided that a gag order should be enforced. Fin had enough to deal with without her pregnancy being common knowledge. The teachers knew of her condition, some knew more details than others, just in case Fin didn't show up to class, they knew why. Of course, Fin had been abusing that, skipping classes so she could try and force this thing from her body by any means possible. The stares still cut through her, the whispers and nudges in her direction. There she was, the girl who was there when Scott and August died. She was the one who had survived. Fin had even heard the blame thrown around, courtesy of a lovely report in the paper that had pointed the finger at her. It was her fault. She'd been the reason they were out there. She might as well have just thrown the spells Silas had cast. Because of the fact the murders were still hot gossip within the old castle walls, Fin had been given permission to miss the feasts, any sort of gathering of the student body. It was favoritism in a way, yes, but kids were cruel. If Fin had a reputation for being a recluse before, that was nothing compared to now. She refused to speak to anyone, completely closed off from the world around her. The drugs helped though, the weed hadn't been cutting it, so Fin had moved on to stronger stuff, tranquilizers were her favourite of the moment. That was due to the fact her body was changing faster than normal, causing her to ache constantly. It sucked. She wanted it gone but apparently the damn thing wasn't reacting to the things that would usually lead to a miscarriage. Fin had been trying so hard, searching up all the things to avoid in a pregnancy and doing them religiously. Nothing. Worked. The feast in the Great Hall had been going for fifteen minutes, which probably meant the latecomers were all accounted for and Fin had free reign of the school. She could go where she wanted, do what she wanted... but all the Hufflepuff wanted to do was get out of the school and get high. So that was what she was going to do. Dressing in her running gear, shorts, trainers, t-shirt and her new bra, having had to be bought due to her increasing bust size. Another thing she hated. If the girls weren't glaring and murmuring about the loss of the two males, the boys were staring at her chest. And those things hurt, and they got in the way, and, as Fin began her jog out of the school, she noticed just how damn painful they made running. So this was why, upon reaching the forest on the outskirts of the lake, Fin had to stop, her face twisted in a pained grimace as her hands pressed to her aching chest that throbbed and sent pain waves across her back. This. Sucked. So. Bad. Stopping, her heart pounding hard and her breathing heavy, Fin pulled her bag from her shoulders and opened it. Resting inside was a relatively normal looking bottle, the sort normally seen containing soft drinks or something, but not this particular bottle. The soft drink had been emptied and replaced by Fin's poison of choice, Firewhisky. Resting beside it was a little medicine bottle, which Fin popped open and tipped one of the tranquilizers into her hand. Fin was barely done washing the pill down with the firewhisky before she heard the roar echo through the forest, making her jump, literally out of her skin and almost choke on the pill as it lodged in her throat. With a cough and splutter, she managed for force it down before she rook a few steps closer to the sound. She knew it was wrong, she knew, with her luck, it was more than likely going to be something that would get her killed but she couldn't stop herself. Something about that sound was so hurt, so turned around, that Fin couldn't help but feel some sort of sympathy for whoever made it. Pushing her way through the trees, she finally made it into the clearing by the lake, washed a cool blue by the moonlight. It seemed so peaceful, so... not what she expected to see considering the sounds she'd just heard. Then, as the figure turned to look at her, Fin froze, unable to move but wanting to run in the opposite direction. Him. Scott. But not -her- Scott. Bastard Scott. A million fears raced through her mind, only dulled by the memory of that shout. That hadn't been the sound she expected from the creature she met in the morgue. There was something... human... about it. Still, the fear gripped at her every limb, her every muscle, holding her in place, so much so that even tears couldn't escape onto her cheeks.

[Scotty Kovac]

In his ears the heartbeat thundered, as though the owner had been jogging through the dense forest. Scott’s hand went to the left of his own chest where the once familiar feel of his heart was replaced with an alien stillness. It made him want to scream again, to scare away who was coming ever closer. He didn’t deserve the company of humans, he wasn’t one of them, he was a monster. Now the subject of every vampire story and encounter would be put back on the boy; that reputation that all vampires were bloodsucking killers. Vivian wasn’t one, she was the opposite, but Scott sure was –a killer with a conscience.

”Go away,” the boy called out to the dark, miserable and full of worry at what he could potentially do. Whoever it was didn’t listen, they were so close now that their heart sounded was as loud as the drumming at a rock concert to the changeling’s sensitive ears. Even though he had not turned from staring out across the lake, he knew who it was who had come to be standing behind him. ”Fin?” he breathed uncertainly, getting up slowly. Hesitantly he turned to face her, looking every inch the school boy he’d been before the morgue, if slightly more pale.

”Finlay,” Scott breathed again as if he couldn’t believe she was standing right there in front of him. Red, blood, tinged tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to overflow. ”Oh God Fin I’m so sorry, what I did to you. Ugh, I’m so sorry, so so sorry,” the vampire wept, taking one step towards her but then deciding against moving any closer. Something else had also stopped him in his tracks. Aside from Fin’s, there was another, smaller heartbeat sounding as though it was coming from her. She smelt of alcohol and drugs and something else, something he couldn’t for the life of him place but the origin of the phantom beat was starting to click. At once his hand flew to his mouth in shock.

”Oh my god.”

[Finlay Cassandra Mackenzie]

............

I'll tell you something,I am a wolf but

[/color]

I like to wear sheep's clothing
............

Staring at him, Fin didn't know whether to beg for her life, beg him not to hurt her again or lash out at him with the venom and hatred that had twisted inside her over the past few weeks, growing faster than the baby in her stomach. It didn't matter, she didn't have a choice. All her body would allow her to do was stand there, staring at him with eyes as wide as saucepans. It was him, it was Scott. It was the pale monster who had hurt her, done the most dispicable thing she could ever imagine, left her with this thing inside her. It was the beast wearing her best friend's skin. But something about his eyes, the way he said her name, something that stopped her from forcing her body past the mental block, forcing her to run away. Staying put as he broke down, the crimson tears filling his eyes, doing what she wanted to do but couldn't.

For some reason, his apology didn't affect her how she thought it would. Though, that being said, none of this situation had been how she expected. She hated Scott. She hated Viv. After the hospital she never wanted to lay eyes on them again, and yet she had had the perfect chance to escape, to not even go near him tonight and she had. She'd had the chance to run, but she hadn't. His apology should have tugged at her heartstrings, made her see that he wasn't that monster anymore, that he was still Scotty... but it hadn't. It made her angry. How could he do that? Just blubber the words and hope it healed the wounds he'd caused her. -They- had done this to her, Viv and Scott, -they- were the reason she was in this mess.

Her feet moved backwards as he stepped closer. Subconscious. Automatic. Her eyes stayed on him, like a mouse defiantly facing the serpent. There was a coldness to her gaze, her jaw tightening as she watched him. What was he doing? Why had he stopped? The apology, the tears... what was he doing? Her eyebrows pulled into a frown as she narrowed her eyes at him, daring him to move closer, daring him to just do anything that would let her let loose on him.

Then his hand shot to his mouth, his exclamation saying it all. Fin recoiled slightly, her arms moving so her hand could protect her stomach. She didn't know why, why would she protect something she was so desperate to get rid of? Maybe because it was him, he had no right to do anything to the baby... and, through it all, she still hated him more than the thing inside her. The humour of the scenario hit her as the firewhisky drenched her blood, forcing a sinister, cold laugh from her lips. "Yeah... sorry but your apology just isn't cutting it..."

[/center]

[/size][/color]............[/blockquote][/center]

[Scotty Kovac]

She wasn’t moving, she was just standing there looking at him looking at her but unlike Fin, Scott’s mouth was still hanging open from shock. He felt sick, unable to believe that the evil he’d done had stayed with Finlay in such a physical way and was growing inside her, getting bigger every day. Its heartbeat pounded along with the girl’s, acting like a backing drum to her thundering bass. The tears had stopped falling as the changeling was too shocked to cry anymore. ”When? When did I do this to you? Is it mine?” the boy choked out his questions, praying to whoever would listen that the child within her was the result of their drunken romp and not the morgue, if it was his at all.

Visibly the vampire flinched as the girl backtracked when he moved towards her. Scott had expected it but still, it hurt to see how much he had destroyed their once close relationship. She had to know that he hadn’t meant for things to happen right from the start, that he had screamed internally at himself while he’d been force to watch his own body act at its own will. In the morgue he’d been a puppet, a slave, to his instincts but now Fin had to know he was all there and that he wouldn’t hurt her.

In fact it was the other around. Fin’s cold, hard glare made the changeling’s chest ache with guilt and remorse. He cowered from it, so ashamed that he’d caused so much hate. The boy noted the girl’s hands move to her stomach, something he’d seen his mother do when she’d been pregnant. It was a protective gesture but, if Fin cared about it so much why did she smell so heavily of firewhiskey and drugs? Her laugh, cold, high and ominous made Scotty jump backwards. ”I know it’s not enough, believe me I know. It never will be. What I did to you, what I’m still doing to you,” he gestured at her stomach as he spoke quietly, his voice full of sorrow.

”But you have to believe me, every day I wish I could take back what this thing, this disease, this monster, made me do to you. You shouldn’t forgive me; never ever because I know even I wouldn’t forgive me. And now, knowing that I’ve left you with a kid. Oh God,” he choked out again. As if it knew it was being spoken about, the child’s heartbeat grew louder to the changeling, stirring paternal instincts he’d never knew he had or was capable of.

[Finlay Cassandra Mackenzie]

[atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/2yotog1.png,true][atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/9prvw0.png][atrb=style,padding:0px 50px;background-position:top;background-repeat:no-repeat;] Oh this was so screwed up! Hearing Scott ask all those questions made Fin want to lunge at him, hit him, scream and literally beat him to a pulp for those questions. Yes, Fin hadn't been a saint, but she wasn't a slut either. And more to the point... when!? When the hell did he think? Or did he have no recollection of... no he knew what he'd done, his apology proved that. Did he really think it was anything else? Would she have left that little 'gem' out of the conversation? That night he... they lost Auggie? No... no matter how hard he prayed, apparently the myths were true, the Gods did turn their backs on vampires because his pleas weren't answered. She was pregnant, it was from the morgue and worse still... it was part of what he was now. What made this even more screwed up was the fact that, mixed in with the blind hatred and burning hatred for Scott, Fin couldn't help but feel somehow sorry for him. Granted, it was minute compared to the other raw emotions raging through her, but it was there. Maybe Fin could still remember them before this all happened, the friend she would have hugged and comforted. There was something about the way he was standing, it still seemed human despite what she knew he was, what he was capable of, what he'd done. Her laugh had hurt him, even his vampire reflexes couldn't hide the way he jumped or the look on his face. Then his apologies started to tumble from his mouth again and the sympathy was instantly consumed by the rage. His words were meaningless and were just confusing her. She was okay before, as okay as she could be... but she had filtered her hatred, anger ans blame onto them, Viv for changing him, taking the Scott she knew, and the 'new' Scott, the one who had raped her and done this to her. She was happy to blame them and never lay eyes on them again, the pair of monsters. And then he was doing this, confusing her by showing her remorse for his actions, the remorse the old Scotty would have shown had he done something like this, like she could just imagine he showed Viv after their drunken night. Even though she knew he was strong, could remember how strong he was that night in the morgue, how her fighting didn't faze him, she found herself storming towards him, laying her palm swiftly across his cheek before she started laying into his chest with her fists, "Don't... don't you DARE! YOU..." She felt burning tears fall onto her cheeks, her skin frozen from the cold night air, causing her bare legs to goosebump as she added a few kicks to his shins. "You -never- wish you could take it back. You CAN'T! You raped me. You. Monster or not, it was -you- and I now have this thing... -your- fucking -thing- in me, growing and it won't fucking go. I can't kill it. It won't let me. So don't you -dare- talk about wishing you could take it back because you're left with the memories... but -I'm- the one who has -this- to remind me... a fucking carbon copy of you." She was sobbing uncontrollably now, the tears dripping from her chin, her body growing tired as her fists balled in the material of his top, dragging him closer so she could push him away. Turning away from him, she let out a guttural scream, her body bending over double as she dug her nails into the skin on her thighs, her scream made visible by the clouds of mist pouring from her mouth. Her breathing stayed ragged as she took in gulps of cold air, memories of that night flooding back, fresh as though it had only happened yesterday. Again she turned to face him, "It was you... you... telling me -I- wanted it... telling me how you thought I loved you... you used all of it against me. Every single feeling I had for you, the grief... everything." Her tone softened slightly, "I thought you were dead, I woke up in that hospital and I begged your mum to tell me you were okay, that -I- had managed to get you there in time... I grieved because I thought you were dead..." She choked back a sob as the cold tone returned to her voice, "I wish you had been... I wish I had seen you on that slab... because this.... -this-... hurts so much more. -This- just fucking rips my heart out every minute of every day... every time I sleep... every time this -thing- craves something or makes me sick..."

[/color] Turning her head to show him the scar on her neck, healing but not completely gone, Fin cried, "Why didn't you finish the job? Why didn't you fucking KILL ME!? Instead of making me live like this!"[/color][/justify][/size][/color][/font][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[Scotty Kovac]

His soft eyes watched every move and it took a moment before the changeling realised he’d stopped breathing. He didn’t want to breathe not until this was all over, not until he knew whether or not the baby was both his and, horrifyingly, safe. Frozen to the spot, Scotty could do nothing as Fin stalked over and the slapped him, hard, across the face before beginning to lay into his chest with her fists. The slap stung in the cold night, dulling the pain of the hits to the torso. He had deserved it and deserved all that he got from the girl, and there was no fighting back from him. Silently, with his head down, he took Fin’s physical and verbal abuse.

It was like a pit had opened up in his stomach when the question of the child’s father and the circumstances of its conception were answered in one fell swoop. The boy looked up at the Hufflepuff, not sure what to say or how he could say it. Memories of something Sam had said came flooding back. At the time the older vampire had explained how half-vampires worked Scott had assumed it was just a miscellaneous lesson but now he knew all too well why it had been brought up. ”I never wanted this! I tried to stop myself in the morgue but this thing that I am, the instincts that come with it but I was weak, I still am weak,” the changeling sobbed, trying to hold Fin like he’d done before the mess.

Her scream of utter despair and hurt broke Scotty’s heart. So much he wanted to comfort her, to tell her it would be alright but how could he say that to her as the one that had caused the pain? ”I wish I had stayed dead too,” he confessed quietly, ”then I wouldn’t have had this monster inside me use all my good memories of our friendship against you. I wouldn’t have left this half-breed in you to leech off of you for four and a half months. I DIDN’T WANT THIS!” he shouted his own despair to the night, collapsing onto his knees and placing his head in his hands. ”I don’t know why it left you alive, if I could answer that question I would. Fin you have to believe me.”

[Finlay Cassandra Mackenzie]

[atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/2yotog1.png,true][atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/9prvw0.png][atrb=style,padding:0px 50px;background-position:top;background-repeat:no-repeat;] Still sobbing, Fin's legs felt weak, weak as Scott had mentioned feeling about the instincts being a vampire brought on. Jelly like, she had to twist her knees in to try and keep herself upright and not sprawling onto the floor. She didn't want this to be happening, she didn't want to be having this conversation with him, she wanted to carry on thinking a monster had taken over him and wishing the lot of them dead. No, what she really wanted was for none of this to have happened. Scott talked about wishing that night in the morgue hadn't happened, but Fin just wished that drunken night hadn't happened, or he hadn't met Viv... or she hadn't met him in the first place. He begged her to believe him, which in turn broke her heart. She could just imagine human Scott saying those words to Viv after telling her the night with Fin had meant nothing. How would she react to knowing Fin was pregnant? Fuck her, she was probably loving the idea the tragic little Hufflepuff never wanted to see Scott again. Reaching into her bag, Fin pulled out the bottle of pills, popping two and washing it down with the rest of the firewhisky. She needed it. She needed to just stop feeling anything. "How? How can I believe you? How can I believe the monster is separate from you? You manipulated my memories before, how can I not have the feeling you're doing it again, just to see how much you can fuck with me. What if this is all some sick little game you and Viv have going? Really make me pay for how I felt about you..."

[/b] The drug abuse has raised her paranoia over the years and Fin was showing all the signs now.

She couldn't stop the tears now, nor could she help the fact the baby sent a woozy, sickness feeling through her, obviously not appreciating the tranqs taking over her system. Hitting the floor hard as her legs gave way under her, Fin didn't even bother attempting to get back up. She just lay down against the cool grass, felt the dew on her face, refreshingly cold against her burning skin. More sobs racked through her, taking over her words as she curled up into a ball, "What do I do? I don't know how... four and a half months of this? Of knowing I wanted you for so long and... this is what I get? A halfbreed? I don't want to do this anymore, I just want things to go back to normal... I just want it to all go away because I can't take it anymore..."[/color] She howled into the floor as the emotion overwhelmed her, letting her cry for a moment with nothing more until she finally moaned out, "I miss Auggie... so much..."[/b][/justify][/size][/color][/font][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[Scotty Kovac]

Of all the people that could have been wandering the woods that night it had had to be Finlay. It was as if the universe was saying a big ‘fuck you, look what you’ve done,’ to the changeling, at least that’s what it felt like. Scott could hear Fin’s heart race and flutter as though she was suddenly tired. In contrast the baby’s heart sounded out strong in the night air, filling the boy entirely. For a moment it was all he could hear as another realisation dawned on him: he was now a father. The child in the girl’s womb had been his last human act; having children the conventional way was yet another thing vampires couldn’t do.

Suddenly he felt protective of the baby and he tried to shout out in protest to the drugs Fin had reached for but no sounds escaped the boy’s lips. He knew that they would have no affect on the half-vampire she carried but they would sure have an effect on her. ”You can’t believe me, why would you?” Scott answered, ashamed of himself and ignoring the drugs and alcohol for the moment. Wait, what was that about Viv? ”What? No! Viv and I are not running a ‘sick little game’. All she did that night was try to save me the only way she knew how,” the boy protested meekly.

The Hufflepuff’s heart beat and ashen face distracted the changeling from saying more. Defending Viv, no matter how much he wanted to, would be stupid in a situation so delicate. Scotty watched as Fin fell; even with preternatural speed he was too slow to catch her. He crawled to her side as she sobbed, hoping she would put aside everything for just a few moments and let him comfort her, let him show her he was still the same guy underneath the pale exterior. ”I don’t know what to do either; it’s not fair that you’re like this. It’s not fair that I did this to you, made you so miserable,” the boy sobbed as he sat next to her quivering body.

Oh so much he wanted to touch her, hug her and to tell her everything would be okay but how could he? At the mention of August’s name memories washed over the vampire of the dead Hufflepuff’s cold, lifeless eyes staring at him in the alley. ”It’s my fault August is dead. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t told him to split up then he’d still be here,” Scott confessed, hugging his knees to his chest just as he had done when he’d been at Hogwarts every time he’d been upset. ”I don’t know what to do anymore, and now I’m even more lost. You’re such a strong girl; you were my rock at school whenever things with Amelia got hard to deal with. The one person I could count on and I threw it back in your face. I miss you, I miss how things were before all this shit happened.”

[Finlay Cassandra Mackenzie]

[atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellspacing,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/2yotog1.png,true][atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/9prvw0.png][atrb=style,padding:0px 50px;background-position:top;background-repeat:no-repeat;] Oh yeah, Fin felt exactly the same way. Why had it been Scott? Why, out of all of the people who could have been by the lake, had it been him? Fin would have even preferred Silas to have been stood there, at least then she could have pretended. She knew he was a monster, there was no denying it. He was the devil with a charming smile, she'd witnessed the evil side that night. The thing with Scott was just making her more and more confused. She wanted to remember him as a monster because it was easier, she wanted to think her friend had died. Yet here he was, sat beside her, sobbing nearly as hard as she was. He'd tried to tell her Viv and he weren't a game with her, but the thought that Scott was still that monster, that this was a set up just to hurt her some more couldn't be shaken from the Hufflepuff's head. Fin felt the drugs start to take control, forcing her muscles to relax, making her head swim from the force of her crying. Her sobbing stopped, the tears still pouring from her eyes but the drugs had made it so that even her vocal chords were too relaxed to make any sound. He blamed himself for August? He wasn't the one who had run off, he hadn't been the reason they were all there in the first place. Her eyes moved to him, her vision blurred from the tears but she could make out how he was sat. It brought back all those times he had been upset at Hogwarts, as few and far between as they had been, when she would have knelt down beside him and just rested her head against his shoulder and said nothing, just let him be sad before she made him do something fun to take his mind off it. Then he spoke to her, complimented her, lied... she wasn't strong, she wasn't his rock, he was hers. He and Auggie were the ones that stopped her going under. People thought her reputation was bad, but it would have been a hell of a lot worse had she not had them around. But she agreed with him on one thing. She missed how things were before all of this had happened too. Letting in a shuddered sob, Fin forced her arms to work, pushing her upper body off the ground. Her hair was dishevelled, falling out of the ponytail so strands fell down over her face. Her hand pressed and wiped at her face, "But it doesn't change anything... wishing you could go back? It's useless. You can't. We can't. I miss... I miss Scotty. I miss August. But they're -gone-. You might be him, you might be that monster from the morgue. I wish we could go back too... I wouldn't have run from the pub... I wouldn't have slept with you in the first place..." She was getting detached from the scenario, a side effect from the tranquilizers. Her eyes were beginning to blank out, going glassy as her body felt heavy and her hand lazily slapped at her stomach. "I don't want this, Scott. I don't want a baby, human, halfbreed, whatever... but I can't kill it. I've tried and it won't die...." Her speech was slurred but eerily calm as she slumped to the side, resting on her arm. "You miss me? You want to make it up to me? Help me get rid of it. Make it so I only have the memories like you have, because those... the pills and the drink help those."