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Post by rhys on Jan 8, 2009 22:23:38 GMT 1
What he was doing now was really really close to pathetic. Rhys knew it, but he couldn't care too much. Jasper was in class, only the Sixth Years had a free period, so who was going to catch him? Besides, it would just be for a little while. Just spend some time in that bed he'd been in so many times. Feel close to Jasper again. It wasn't like he was doing something dirty...he just wanted to close his eyes and not be so lonely for a while.
He was even fully clothed as he fell down on the bed, cradling the pillow in his arms and drinking in the others scent. It almost made him want to cry, but he forced back the sniffles that tried to escape, whimpering instead as he pressed his face into the pillow. There were images in his head, from the first time he'd met Jasper until the last time he saw his best friend smile at him. It all seemed so long ago, like it had been a different life time. He had pictures in his drawer, sure, but looking at them just made it hurt worse. It made him want to cut, to die, to leave this cruel world.
Because what purpose was there to a life when he didn't hang out with Jasper anymore? His whole life he had figured that the bad would somehow be outdone by the good, eventually. He had been waiting patiently for it to happen, and then Jasper came to Hogwarts. He had honestly thought that this was it. That Jasper...that nothing would ever come between them. That he would end up happy for the first time in his life. And he had been happy. Not all the time, but for the most part.
Now...he was just miserable. Constantly miserable, to the point where he got more and more determined to leave this hell-hole behind. Who needed him here, after all? Toby would do fine, he had Josh. Jasper didn't need him anymore...he was sure that Gale would learn to deal with his disorder. His parents...well he was bound to make them miserable at some point. Maybe he didn't belong with Jasper. Maybe he'd just been a temporary fix. Maybe his purpose in life was to simply waste away and die. Well, if that was it, Rhys Steele was damn sure he'd have the last laugh. He wouldn't wait for it to happen, he'd take his fate back into his own hands.
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Post by cally on Jan 8, 2009 22:52:20 GMT 1
Free periods were such a pain these days. Gale generally had most if not all of his homework finished, or he’d have it done within half an hour during the free time so right now the blond was just plain bored. He’d been sitting around the Hufflepuff Common room, tracing the lines on the plush chair. Were they always this boring checkered pattern? How ugly. Gale made a little face at the checkerboard pattern on the chair and pulled at some of the frayed pieces of stitching.
Sighing from boredom, he drug his bag over looking for his sketchbook wanting to try his hand at making a reproduction of the graffiti he’d seen Jasper drawing. His graffiti looked like big bird was smoking crack on Sesame Street, it really was that bad. He giggled to himself at the memory of when he told that to Jasper, then his smile turned into a frown when he reached the bottom of his bag and he’d turned up no sketchbook.
He blanched a little and frantically searched his dorm then tried to remember where he had it last. Jasper’s room. Of course! He grabbed his bag and pencils before all but running up to Ravenclaw Tower. He didn’t want that sketchbook to fall into wrong hands, there were drawings of Jasper in there and he cherished every pencil line. Muttering the password, he climbed in through the portal quickly and took the stairs two at a time to Jasper’s dorm room. Once he was there he caught his breath before quietly turning the knob to open the door.
Seeing a figure curled up around a pillow on Jasper’s bed, for a split second Gale thought it was the boy himself but quickly realized it wasn’t him. ”Oh..” he said, surprised but he realized who it was. It had to be Rhys. He couldn’t see the other’s face but if he was cuddling Jasper’s pillow like that it just had to be him. Gale hadn’t seen him too much but Jasper said that they were best friends, but it was just a little odd for a best friend to be cuddle-loving a pillow when the friend was just in class at the moment. Rhys was acting as if he was mourning the loss of Jasper, like he’d died or something and that irked Gale a little. ”What’re you doing?” he asked curiously, tilting his head a bit, forgetting about why he’d come up here in the first place.
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Post by rhys on Jan 8, 2009 23:21:41 GMT 1
Rhys practically fell of the bed the moment the door opened. Was Jas skipping class? Would he get angry with him for being here? Would he even say anything at all? Flailing wildly, he turned around, only to become utterly still as he saw the blonde staring at him. Gale fucking Taylor-Kinney...what kind of stupid people had a double name anyway? The boy wasn’t married, so it was absolutely ridiculous. And what kind of a name was Gale anyway? It sounded a lot like the Dutch and German words for horny, which he supposed the Hufflepuff must be. How else would he satisfy Jasper? There was nothing that kid could give to Jasper that he couldn’t.
”What’s it to you?” Harsh blue eyes stared up at the other boy, as if he was checking out his competition. Although he hated to admit it, he couldn’t help feeling resentful towards the other. He had never bothered with him much before, had even liked him somewhat since Toby and him got along, but that had all changed when the boy had decided to steal his best friend. ”Came to check out how pathetic I am?” Normally he wasn’t much of a confrontational person, not even with Jasper. The only time he’d fight him was when Jasper got really upset, when he started hurting him, not with his actions, but with cruel words.
Rhys didn’t bother climbing off the bed, the pillow still in his arms as he had sat down, back resting against the headboard. He was the one who always spent time here, not that blonde. He was the one who knew exactly what Jasper looked like when he was dreaming. Who knew of the soft and angelic looking boy, asleep and protected by his best friend. Gale would never know such things, not as long as he was around. ”What are you doing here anyway?”
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Post by cally on Jan 8, 2009 23:54:12 GMT 1
Gale almost snorted at the absurd reaction his entrance got. Rhys Steele flailing and falling off of a bed was a sight to see, for sure. He sure looked pissed that Gale had come in, maybe he was expecting Jasper? Looking around without moving he tried to find his sketchbook, he wasn’t feeling welcome and figured he’d just come to get what he needed then go.
He shrugged ”It was just a question” he mumbled, stepping over to the dresser next to the bed and pulling the top drawer out thinking if Jasper had found it he might have put it in one of the drawers for safe keeping. He shut the drawer and looked over at Rhys when he asked him if he came to see how pathetic he was ”Why would I think you were pathetic? Even if I did, I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch you” he said, a little bit of a snarky remark from him, but seriously. Who would go out of his or her way just to watch someone be in pain? Definitely not Gale. He wasn’t like that.
Sighing a little at the next question he walked around the bed to look at the floor space where Rhys just about face planted. He probably was looking like he owned the place, but Gale felt comfortable in searching the premises since he’d been invited up here a few times already. And he was looking for something of his possession so it wasn’t like he was snooping around all of Jasper’s things. ”I’m looking for something that I left here the other night” he said, not wanting to tell Rhys what it was since if the other boy found it he’d probably have a shit fit with what was inside.
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Post by rhys on Jan 9, 2009 0:03:13 GMT 1
Rhys’ jaw tightened as Gale began to rummage through the room as if he owned the damn place. He hadn’t been aware of the fact that the Hufflepuff was spending time here, and it hit him harder than he wanted to. Why should he care if Jasper brought the other male up to his bed? Why should it even matter whether or not he fell asleep with him, or even shagged him?
It hurt, that he didn’t have any right to be angry. He wasn’t Jaspers boyfriend, he had never been. And he never would be. He was just the best friend, the one who stereotypically got pushed into the background as soon as THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE appeared. He had known that from the start, so it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t...but it did.
”Oh you probably laugh at me, Jasper Cole’s pathetic little friend” His words sounded harsh, though his anger was more inward than directed at Gale. It wasn’t his fault that the boy had fallen in love with Jasper. Hell, it wasn’t even Jaspers fault that he liked him back – Rhys’ head refused to admit that maybe, perhaps, Jasper had fallen in love with Gale as well. It was just his fault for ever being stupid enough to trust him. Stupid enough to think that this would last forever.
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Post by cally on Jan 9, 2009 0:39:11 GMT 1
He hadn’t noticed Rhys’ look when he started looking around, too focused on finding his sketchbook. He almost asked if Rhys had seen it, but the Ravenclaw probably would have yet another snappish reply so he refrained. He knew Jasper and Rhys were close, and that Rhys probably wasn’t too happy with him horning in on his ‘Jasper’ time but it wasn’t like Gale was around all hours of the day. There was plenty of time left still for Jasper to spend with his friends. Gale made sure he still was able to see his, he wasn’t about to be the friend that left everyone in the dust just because he was dating.
Stopping his search when Rhys called himself Jasper’s pathetic friend. ”Rhys.. you’re not pathetic.” he said looking at him, a little worried about him and Gale felt bad for barging in on him now. ”I barely even know you.. all I know if what Jasper’s mentioned” he said, finally spotting his sketchbook between the bed and dresser. Bending down to grab it, he flipped through a few pages before holding it to his chest.
He was still holding onto that pillow. That was kind of sad, the only person Gale would even be able to think about doing that to would be his sister. Maybe Rhys and Jasper were really that tight knit? Jasper didn’t talk too much about Rhys but he’d mentioned him a few times in conversation, nothing about how Rhys might very well be obsessed with Jasper. That almost creeped Gale out, then he pushed that thought aside, they were just really good friends. That’s probably all it was.
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Post by rhys on Jan 9, 2009 0:49:23 GMT 1
Maybe there was time enough for Jasper to hang out with him, perhaps he just chose not to. Chose to sleep alone in his bed, when he’d grown so used to sleeping together. Nothing had ever happened, they had just shared a bed, cuddled up. Why was that suddenly so hard for Jasper to do? It wasn’t like Rhys wanted something from him, like he would try to rape him in his sleep or whatever, he just wanted his best friend back, the way things had been pre-Gale.
Then again, maybe he ought to let him be. Obviously, Jasper was happy. If he wasn’t, he would have told him. He would have told the one person that was always there, regardless of what happened. Unless Gale suddenly shared that part of his life too and somehow Rhys doubted that. He might not see a whole lot of Jasper these days but he still knew how the other boys mind functioned. He wouldn’t fuck things up by telling the Hufflepuff about his disorder.
Not unless they were getting really serious, and Rhys was praying he wouldn’t have to deal with that for at least a few more months. If things did get serious...well maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe by the time things got serious, Jasper would graduate. The thought had always scared him, but perhaps it would prove to be a good thing, in time. It’d keep him from making a more...permanent decision.
”I am though, Gale” His voice lacked hostility, the boy letting go of the pillow he’d been clinging to. ”I just...I really try...to be happy for him. But it’s hard.” He didn’t want Gale to think that he hated him, though he couldn’t help himself from feeling it sometimes, he knew it wasn’t fair.
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Post by cally on Jan 9, 2009 1:42:40 GMT 1
He was starting to think that perhaps he had to ask Jasper himself about not spending time with Rhys. If they were going to date he figured he could ask these questions. They were simple and innocent enough, not really blurting out that he was concerned about Rhys. He just looked sort of lost without Jasper. After a second, Gale sat down on the bed keeping about a foot between them incase the other wouldn’t welcome him sitting down.
Gale didn’t think Jasper would be the kind of guy who’d alienate his close friends when he started dating, then again maybe he was in a way since Jasper liked to keep his ‘things’ to himself. ”I get that it’s hard. I don’t blame you.. I’ve been in your position before” he said softly, smiling slightly at Rhys. He wanted to make the other feel better somehow but didn’t dare give him a hug like he would if it was just about anyone else. He still wasn’t sure how much he was welcome to with the other boy.
At least Rhys was somewhat opening up to him, which was a good sign, he’d even let the pillow go. Rhys reminded him of a song he’d been obsessed with over summer. True Colors was the name of the song and the last four lines to the first verse:
In a world full of people You can lose sight of it all And the darkness inside you Can make you feel so small
Gale sighed softly, feeling bad for Rhys and how Jasper not spending time with him must make him feel. ”It’s never easy whenever your friend starts to hang out with someone else more and more and you get left behind. I’m sorry that I’m the cause of that.. I really am.” he said looking at Rhys with nothing but honesty and a little sadness in his own blue eyes.
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Post by rhys on Jan 9, 2009 1:50:07 GMT 1
It was honestly really hard to hate Gale when he was being all nice about everything. Despite himself, Rhys smiled a little, running fingers through his messy hair. He had no idea why the Hufflepuff cared enough to want to make him feel better, but it was nice all the same. He rather liked the fact that Gale seemed to want to try and at least be social towards him.
”You’re a good guy, Gale. I know you are.” He’d heard it from Toby enough times, though he couldn’t help but wonder what colourful words his brother would have when he found out that Jasper and Gale were an item. He doubted it would go over that well. ”I miss him. He used to be...I don’t know. The center of my universe. I know it sounds completely wrong...” It sounded positively stalkerish, even.
”I just miss having him around. He doesn’t hug or touch me anymore...It’s like he tries to replace me.” Rhys picked at his sock, little black fluff balls being absently torn from that particular item of clothing. Shrugging one shoulder, he looked up at the blonde. ”I’m honestly not trying to break you up. It’s not even your business.”
He didn’t mean it in a bad way...more like that Gale shouldn’t have to worry about how the best friend would deal with this situation. ”Just...I don’t know. Don’t tell Jasper. I don’t want him to feel like he has to spend time with me. I wouldn’t want to impose.” The last part sounded bitter, something harsh flickering in the brunette’s eyes.
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Post by cally on Jan 9, 2009 2:11:02 GMT 1
Gale grinned slightly when he saw the smile on Rhys’ face. That was a reaction he was hoping for. Setting his sketchbook down he leaned on one arm to his left side, leaning all his weight on that arm as he looked at Rhys. He was a good guy, sometimes aloof. Okay very aloof most of the time, but he seemed like he was a good guy deep down underneath all of that touch exterior.
He snorted softly when Rhys said he was a good guy, his exact thoughts but directed at Gale instead of himself. ”Thanks..” he murmured, looking at the cover of his sketchbook, tracing a doodle on it absentmindedly before looking up at the other boy again and he listened to him talk. He didn’t think it sounded wrong, it did however sound more than just a friendship, which made Gale’s mind start to wonder again.
Watching the black fuzzies fall to the floor, Gale nodded some ”Yeah.. it’s not my business since it’s between you, but I’m feeling somewhat responsible for it” he said, trailing off and biting his lip slightly when Rhys told him that he shouldn’t tell Jasper. He doubted Jasper would feel like he was being forced into spending time with Rhys.
Sitting up straight and pushing his bangs out of his eyes, he sighed and continued what he was thinking ”You know what I mean? You guys were always hanging out and then I’m feeling like I’m stealing Jasper from you and I don’t want that.” He caught the flash of something in the other boys eyes and that just made him feel even worse. Maybe he could just hint to Jasper that he should talk to Rhys without giving away that they had spoken about him? Gale wanted to help rectify this somehow.
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