All I Thought About [Seth]

[ashley]

Ashley flopped down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling of his four poster. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about August, about how stupid he had been. He should have known not to push his boyfriend and he had known. It wasn't like he'd been caught with his hand in the others pants. It had just been a little feel, a little more than their kisses. It hadn't meant that their kisses weren't nice, but wasn't it natural to want more after a while?

August hadn't seemed to think so, though he hadn't really said much about it. Instead there had been a complete radio silence. It was as if the boy had made himself invisible, which riled him up in completely the wrong way. Part of Ash wanted to hunt him down and demand an explanation, but he worried that it would be the completely wrong thing to do. Shouting at your boyfriend wasn't really the way to get him back in your arms.

Ugh. It was all so frustrating. He hadn't even had a chance to apologize which was what irked him most. It left him feeling both angry and sad, and in desperate need of his best friend. Ashley had been looking longingly at his bed for the past hour, hoping that Seth would somehow sense it and come up from wherever he was hiding.

[Seth Hevulen]

As Seth got back to the Common room it was just reaching curfew. He had just spent the last few hours, since dinner, in the library. Some of that time had been spent studying for Care of Magical Creatures, some essay Argall wanted in his hand in tomorrow's lesson and Seth still didn't understand it. He had half tried to write the essay until Oscar Peterson had finally shown up.

He knew it would be a while after dinner, but he didn't expect it to be more than an hour like it had been. Did the students really create that much mess in one sitting?

Once Oscar had gotten there though, his essay lay forgotten. He had time to finish tomorrow, he had rationed with himself. They had done pretty much what they had every other time they'd met up in the dark corner of the library - talk, laugh, and enjoy each others company. There was no falseness with Oscar, what you saw was what you got. Seth hated that the guy seemed to hate himself so much, being a Squib was hardly his fault, and he was such a good person, so why did that matter?

It didn't to Seth by any means. And his hand still felt strangely empty whenever he was around the curly haired caretaker. Ever since they'd first been properly introduced.

Once curfew approached, Seth had forced himself to make his apologies and get up to leave, only to have Oscar walk with him down the floors to the cellar, only to have to walk all the way back up again to his office and bed chamber. He said he didn't want Seth getting in trouble, so it was a 'just in case' measure.

Seth made his way silently, as he usually did, towards the Sixth Year Dormitory. He didn't expect anybody to be in there, let alone Ash. Which is why he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of his best friend. "Hey Ash," he said giving the guy a small smile and waving at him lamely. He made his way over to his four poster, throwing his bag down on top of his Trunk at the end of the bed, "You alright?" he said robotically, before looking at Ash and registering that the question should have probably been asked with slightly more concern.

[ashley]

Ash resisted the urge to pounce on his friend the moment he walked in, mostly because...well, he wasn’t even able to get back in his wheelchair alone. He was on good days, but at the moment he was too tired and too grump to really do anything but flop over dramatically. As he gazed at Seth, he noticed that the boy sounded a bit numb, no real concern obvious in his voice. It made him frown for a moment, though he shrugged it off in favor of his own heart that threatened to burst if he didn’t tell anyone.

”It’s August. I think we’re sorta...breaking up?” He sounded positively miserable at that, giving his friend a pout and looking at him with those coffee coloured puppy dog eyes. Sighing deeply, he looked at his ceiling for a moment, running fingers through his blonde hair. ”It’s all my fault and I’m just so stupid but now I don’t know what to do! He’s avoiding me, and the ball is coming up and I just...Fuck, Seth...” Ashley sounded genuinely upset, and he was. It hurt so much that he didn’t see his smile every day anymore, that he felt more alone than ever. It made his nightmares come back full force.

[Seth Hevulen]

Oh crickey, Seth thought to himself. He wasn't good with relationships. That's why he never had all that many friends. Sure he had the few guys back home, and the Dorm ggroup - but he very rarely spoke to them. He spoke to Ash, that's why Ash was still in their Drom despite being a fifth year, technically. And he spoke to Oscar. Occasionally he'd join in the antics of the Quidditch Team but even then he took the silent approach. He followed Ash's orders to the letter and hoped he did the team proud.

"Sorry, mate," he said sincerely. He couldn't really think of a lot else to say. It would be nice to have some peace in the dormitory when they were both around, but at the same time, if August was avoiding him, then it would just be awkward and any conversation would just be curt and brief.

"Screw the ball! It's my birthday! Let's think about that instead!" Yes he was being slightly selfish, but in his experiance, the easiest way to cheer Ash up was to not let him think about it, and the easiest way to do that, was change the subject, even if only slightly, "Come on, think about me for a sec! Going through hell on my birthday! I only get one seventeenth and it is being spent in a costume, a freaking costume, at a ball! A ball! What the hell happened to doing what you wanted on your birthday?

[ashley]

"Come on, think about me for a sec! Going through hell on my birthday! I only get one seventeenth and it is being spent in a costume, a freaking costume, at a ball! A ball! What the hell happened to doing what you wanted on your birthday?"

Ashley nearly laughed at that, though he managed to just let a short giggle escape. Honestly, Seth could be so adorable. ”Dude, I don’t know. I got a car crash for my birthday last year...Suck it up man.” He tossed his pillow at the other guy, a smile on his face. He wasn’t in the least upset over it. Life happened, and shit was often a part of that. It wouldn’t make it better if he sat around and moped over everything.

”I promised Shi I’d go with him. Just as friends though. He’s gonna dress up my wheelchair” Ash sounded amused. Being friends with Shiro was a great thing. They got to cheer each other up when things were tough. Just a smile from the other in the hallway could change his day. They both had their own problems, but weren’t too troubled with simply being there for the other when they needed it. ”You should just go...see if you can find Oz. That’d be pretty sweet...spending your birthday with your cutie” Yes, Ash was blatantly fishing for info now. He’d seen Seth and Oz together a few times and found them great together. Once upon a time he’d been jealous, but even though he was currently breaking up with August, he didn’t feel resentful in the slightest.

[Seth Hevulen]

Seth mentally cringed, he would have apologised for speaking without thinking had a pillow not come into contact with his face. He batted it away with a splutter and mockingly glared at Ash. "What you going as? Or you just dressing up sharp?" Seth asked flopping down onto his bed and burying his head down into his plush pillows.

Seth faltered, opening and closing his mouth in imitation of a goldfish before his cheeks tinged slightly pink, "I don't know what you're talking about," he stated quietly. He wasn't exactly lying either. It wasn't like there was an elicit affair going on that nobody knew about. All they did was sit with each other, talk, and occasionally send each other letters via owl. Granted, Seth was about the only person to give Oscar the time of day, but they were still only friends.

Yes, the promise that Seth could go and hang out with Oscar at the ball made Seth feel slightly better about the bloody thing, but there was still nothing going on. "Me and Oscar," he paused slightly shifting to lie on his side and face Ashley, "We're just mates."

[ashley]

Ash had known Seth for a long time, he knew that the other boy wanted to apologize, but he also felt like he didn’t have to. Yes, the accident had happened, yes, he’d lost his parents, but he was still here. Still doing alright, rebuilding his life. It could have been so much worse. It would have been so much worse if it weren’t for Seth, helping him out and making him feel at home.

"What you going as? Or you just dressing up sharp?"

Ashley shrugged. Shi was dressing up in black and he had decided he’d just go for something simple and formal. ”I didn’t really feel like making a fool out of myself, so I’m probably just wearing formal wear. I have this blue suit that Shi said looked really good on me.” He grinned when Seth blushed and got quiet, staying silent in hopes that the other would say something more. It was cute and so obvious that he liked Oscar that Ash just wished he could somehow help set them up.

"Me and Oscar, we're just mates."

”But you want to be more, don’t you?” It wasn’t really a question. It was obvious from the way the other boy seemed to light up whenever Oscar was mentioned and or around. ”Do you think he likes you?” Ash had never been much of a dating expert, but he enjoyed seeing his friends happy. Seth, more than anyone, deserved to experience love.

[Seth Hevulen]

"I thought the whole idea of it was to make a prat out of yourself? Make yourself as uncomfortable as you possibly can get without dying, and you're on to a winner!" Seth complained staring up at the canopy of his four poster. One he had hidden in before now a thousand times. The bed he had lived in for nearly six years and yet it still didn't feel like home, it was just temporary until he found somewhere else to reside. Like a room of his own. Or an office if he became a teacher - god help him if he did.

"He's my friend, and I like him. We're on the same level. And I'm not putting myself down, he's a really good, nice, funny guy. You just have to get to know him." not that that had been an easy feat for Seth. Talking to Oscar had proved difficult. Oscar didn't really understand that people could be nice to him, "I'm the only person in this bloody place that treats him with a little respect. Of course he likes me," Seth said, not delving too much into the other side of the relationship that could be.

He didn't want to say things about it if he didn't know if it were the truth. So much could happen with Oscar, or not happen that it really wasn't worth getting his hopes up on it... If Oscar did like him, then that was great, but they hadn't known each other very long. Not properly anyway, and Seth wanted to be sure.

[ashley]

"He's my friend, and I like him. We're on the same level. And I'm not putting myself down, he's a really good, nice, funny guy. You just have to get to know him."

Ash arched one eyebrow, looking at Seth. ”Who said anything about putting yourself down? If you like him, then that’s good enough for me” Yes, he might have said something differently in the past, but that was when he was still sort of crushing on his best friend. At least things had stopped being so complicated in that area. He wanted Seth happy and if Oz made him happy, then who was he to tell him no?

When Seth mentioned that Oz liked him because he treated him with respect, Ashley smiled. His friend was naive, but so adorable. ”I wouldn’t mind talking to him, but he looks like he’s afraid of everyone who comes too close. He seems like a good guy though. As long as he makes you happy, he deserves my respect...it’s not easy making you happy” He stuck out his tongue, teasing him at the last part.

Ash had figured, for a long time now, that Seth might not be completely straight. He remembered how awkward his coming out had been, jotted down in a letter, causing him nervous breakdowns until he finally got the others reply. At least if it happened now, he would be around to talk to him about it. Really, all he wanted was to be here and see his friends happy.

[Seth Hevulen]

In truth, Seth was rambling, a lot. Going off on random tangents not really making points, avoiding it at all costs. Most of the idiots at their school treated Oscar like crap for who he was. any mentions of the word 'squib' being thrown around and people immediately turned up their noses. Seth knew Ash wasn't like that, but different circumstances provoked different reactions.

"I do like him. He's a good friend to me," Seth stated as if Ash wasn't really understanding this at all. Two guys could talk to each other a lot, spend a lot of time together and not have to fancy each other. Hell Seth didn't even know if Oscar was gay, or at least bi-sexual. He hardly knew if he was, and he doubted Oscar knew about himself either. They were as much a mystery to each other as they were to themselves it would seem.

"Can you blame him when the majority of the time when he interacts with people all theyd do is as insult to injury? The only reason he ever spoke to me in the first place was an accident. He thought i was going to attack him or I was plotting his downfall. It took me at least an hour to make him realise I was going to do neither, he was rambling again, sitting up in his bed and sitting cross legged, "And I am not hard to please! I'm just more vocal when I'm upset."