and lets make this night...{Ryan}}

[jessi]

Dominique sat there and listened to Ryan has he began to talk, she didn’t want to interrupt him for fear she’d say something that would cause him to quit talking, so she chose to remain silent.

Hearing Ryan say he had fucked half the student body made Dominique wince, so Kris had been right, he really was something of a whore apparently. Domi didn’t know if she felt better about her knowing the truth.

Dominique ran a hand threw her hair as she continued to listen to Ryan, she really didn’t know how she felt about all of this, she was really starting to like Ryan and now she was hearing what she really didn’t want to hear, the fact that he just seemed to screw people and leave, meaning he wasn’t the type of guy to be in a relationship, meaning Domi just got herself hurt again, but she hid her pain well, on the outside it would just look as if she was listening and not having in feelings towards what she was seeing

But on the inside Domi was a wreck she didn’t want to get hurt again and now it seemed as that was exactly what was happening, yet Domi couldn’t make herself get up to leave and tell Ryan never to talk to her again, something kept her where she was, and she didn’t know what it was.

[ryan]

Ryan didn't really look at her, out of fear that he'd be pleading with her, begging her for a chance he was sure he didn't deserve. He didn't want to tempt her with promises, but at the same time he wanted her to believe that he could change. That he could be more than what he was at the moment. He wanted to believe that she could help him.

"The second time I went there, he asked me why. He didn't judge, he just asked why I was the way I was. Why I did the things I did." He ran fingers through his hair, glancing at her through slightly parted lashes. "I told him I didn't know. He told me that he did." It had been such a crazy experience. To finally find some answers, to make some sort of sense of his life.

"It's called Borderline Personality Disorder. In my case, the traits are mostly that I have trouble forming relationships. When I meet someone, I tend to invest a lot of time in them. Then as time goes by, I get scared. I'll be worried that they leave, and I try and make them leave because then if they go, it won't be because of me, but because of what I did."

Ryan looked up at her, hoping that this made sense to her. It wasn't an easy thing to hear or even deal with in a short period of time and as hard as it was to accept, he realized that she might very well walk away from him. She was a pretty girl who could get whatever guy she wanted. Why would she settle for him, a damaged kid?

"One of the things is to sexualize everything. I have trouble being just friends with people. I'm scared that they want something from me that I can't give, so I end up being a whore. Most people think that I like the reputation I've got, but I really don't. I just...I don't really know how to change it. It's apparently another part of the disorder, being really impulsive in things like that. I know it shouldn't be an excuse, but it's...it's hard."

[jessi]

Dominique listened to what Ryan was saying and nodded her head when she felt it was approriate. A cool breeze blew across the lake causing Dominique's hair to blow into her eyes. Taking her hand and tucking the hair behind her ear Dominique continued to listen to Ryan. She had heard of borderline before, she didn't know much about it but she had heard about it before.

When Ryan looked at Dominique she tried to smile a little,and suceeded before she let the smile once again fall, she knew what bordeline was but she didn't know what to do. She didn't know where this left her. All she knew was that she felt like she was going to faint from all this information, and then when Ryan went into detail about how he made everything sexual made the feeling of fainting only more prominent. But she tried to stay strong she had too, she didn't need to faint in front of Ryan she needed to stay strong.

Taking a deep breathe and swallowing it Dominique closed her eyes and then lifted them to look back at Ryan, "So where does this leave us?" she asked. Dominique didn't care about the rumors, or care about the borderline, she didn't know what she cared about and she didn't know if she should care, but at times she did and this was one of those times she cared but she was sure if she should care but she did and it unnerved her a little.

"I mean, I don't even know what I mean."she said as she put one of her small hands to her forehead and closed her eyes trying to get everything to make sense again.

[ryan]

He could almost see the wheels in her head turning and turning, and wondered if she felt overwhelmed like he usually did. A normal day for him ended in a splitting headache, lying in bed hour after hour, wondering and worrying and not being able to fall asleep just because he couldn't get his brain to shut up. He'd tried smoking, tried drinking, but the only thing that left him physically exhausted enough to fall asleep was sex. It might sound horrible, but that was the truth.

"So where does this leave us? I mean, I don't even know what I mean."

Ryan nodded, looking at her and the way she put a delicate hand to her forehead. He wished that there was something he could do, a way to help her relax slightly. This wasn't an easy start, it was a tough situation to deal with, especially since they were in those supposed to be wonderful first stages of their relationship.

"I don't know, Domi. I guess that depends on you. I guess that I just wanted to put all my cards on the table." He fidgeted with his hands, before rubbing at the back of his neck. "I've never been in a relationship, but I would like to try. Whether that is with you or anyone else is up to you. I'm not going to promise you that I won't mess up, I can only tell you that whatever happens, I'm trying. And that I'll always be honest with you."

[jessi]

Domi felt a small smile tug at her lips, at least Ryan was being honest with her, she couldn’t remember a time when a guy had been as honest with her as he was being at this very moment and that in itself made Domi’s heart tug. He really was really sweet and it was hard finding a guy as sweet as he was.

Hearing him say he had never been in a relationship, but it wanted to try made Domi smile again, until he said it could be with her or someone else, that hurt her a bit. She didn’t want him to try with someone else she wanted him to try with her, she could deal with messing up, hell she wasn’t always the golden goddess of truth, there were times when she nearly drove her family mad because of the mistakes she had.

“I want to try” she said in a whisper while keeping her head down, ”Mistakes are bound to happen, but I want to try, I don’t want to have the feeling of regret if I let you walk away, I don’t think I could live with it.” she said now finding the courage to look up at him as he rubbed the back of his neck. Domi figured that it must be a nervous habit of his because he always seemed to do it when he was nervous, just like Domi and twirling her ring, but right now she wasn’t nervous, she was just confused, and even with the confusion she knew she wanted to be with Ryan, she didn’t want anyone to take that away from her but she knew she probably wasn’t the only girl after him, but she sure hoped that he wanted to be with her like she wanted to be with him, or she would be crushed.

[ryan]

Ryan listened to her in silence, letting her make up her mind while he rubbed at his neck, not even noticing it anymore. It was a difficult conversation, but she had taken it a lot better than he had expected. The fact that she still wanted to try...despite his honesty, despite the fact that he couldn’t promise her anything, it made him happy. Happier than he’d been in quite some time. So he nodded, leaning in a little and giving her a soft kiss, before lacing their fingers.

It wouldn’t be easy, he would have to work for this every day, but he hoped that they would do well together. This was a girl his parents would approve of, someone that he could trust to be around for a long time. Someone he could maybe even fall in love with – if he tried hard enough. If he just spent time with her...if he just forgot about the future for a moment and decided to be with her, make a conscious decision to treat her right, then maybe he didn’t have to fuck up.

Giving her hand a little squeeze, his lips traveled up to her forehead, giving her a soft kiss on the surface she’d been rubbing. It said things that he couldn’t say, promised things that he wasn’t sure he should promise, and at the same time it wasn’t more than a simple brush of his mouth against her skin. ”Then we’ll try” He whispered, giving her a smile.