[Ed/Lovely] Warzone

Ahh weekends, they meant more customers and scores of good looking girls wandering through his doors. Edward had spent the entire day flirting, serving people, taking tips and flirting. He absolutely loved it when Hogsmeade was overrun with people. It meant more money for the pub and him and the attention of pretty girls. Overall it had been a good day; the tip jar was pretty much full of silver and bronze coins and small slips of paper with names of girls written on them.

Well it had been a good day until his latest customer had walked through the door. Ed groaned as Silas Rosier approached, oh God why? What the hell did he want? The man only came to him if his place was out of liquor (never) or to pick a fight with the barkeep. It was a safe bet that it was the second option. Ed had half a mind to tell him to piss off and stop ruining his good day but he couldn’t. As much as he hated the other man he was obliged to serve him, customers meant money and Ed couldn’t afford to chase away a paying patron. As Silas spoke, Ed recognised a tone he knew all too well, it looked like he was in for a night of petty bickering and below the belt jabs.

“Something light eh?” he repeated gruffly before going off to find the man’s perfect drink. Edward moved to grab a glass and filled it with some suspicious looking water.
“There, something light,” he said arrogantly, he might as well play to the man instead of trying to ignore him, at least for now.

Edward snorted at Silas and turned away to serve people that were worth his time. Unfortunately a threat from him couldn’t be taken lightly, a man like that was fearless when it came to sinking to new lows just to piss someone off. His eyes wandered to the shotgun under the bar but he knew it would be useless. Ed wasn’t what you’d call interested in going to Azkaban for murder, even though the thought of Silas being his victim was oh so tempting. Maybe poisoning would be a better way than scattering the man’s brains all over his pub, more discrete and less messy.

He flashed a wry grin as he scooped up the dirty water and chucked it down the sink.
“I don’t normally treat my patrons this way but you, you get special treatment,” Edward quipped before fetching a clean rag to clean some glasses. He surveyed the man in front of him, still silently resisting the urge to bash the crap out of him for the fun of it.
“So what brings you down to my level? Is it that unrequited man crush you have on me again? If it is, dude you seriously have a problem,” it was a pretty pathetic go but Ed’s brain was only working at a low capacity and was not yet warmed up for the coming verbal fight. If the fight turned physical, then Ed probably stood a chance, but for now Silas had about 16 years experience in being a dick on him.

Now that was just plain gross. Edward gave a false retch and turned to leave. He was starting to wish he’d never dug up that damn picture. It had been funny at the time and a good bit of revenge for the photo Silas had dug up on him. Ed thought for a minute about the photo. An ex-girlfriend had made him go to a stupid dress up party dressed as God knows what. Damn that girl, she’d been the first girl he’d stayed with more than a night and she had to go and be a whore with someone else. He guessed that was why he only had one night stands, less complicated and no messy feelings were involved.

Why, why did Silas have to come in and be such an asshole? The other man’s tone brought Ed abruptly out if his thoughts and made him glare at him. He hated that tone with a passion, it made Ed feel like he was a child.
“I thought I already gave it to you,” Edward said, falsely cheery. “I distinctly remember you asking for something light and I gave it to you,” he shot at Silas, “but if you want something a little heavier than that but still light, try the Three Broomsticks.” It was a reasonable suggestion but he knew Silas wouldn’t leave, he liked toying with Ed way too much. After receiving a few impatient coughs from other customers, Ed gave up and thumped a bottle of fireswhiskey in front of Silas.
“There, that’s a light as we go,” he said hotly.

Ed looked adequately disgusted enough for Silas’s liking. That ought to teach him against trying to use that kind of argument again in the future. The whole ‘well you must think I’m sexy then’ rebuff was very school age. Still, Ed couldn’t be blamed really. He would have only gotten out of whatever backward hick magic establishment there was in Australia like, what, three or four years ago? No wonder he was still so developmentally retarded.

”Thanks babe,” he grinned as Ed practically slammed the Firewhiskey down on the bar. He had stocks of the stuff in his home and office, the good stuff too, not this cheap crap Ed was peddling at him, though he wasn’t going to argue. Ed was likely to try and give him something else ass-nasty if he complained about it and arguments were no fun when they went around in circles. The main concern was that the drink was by no means easy. Although Silas was used to it enough to have to knock back a little more than most before being affected, getting into a drunken argument wasn’t part of his to-do list for the day. Maybe just have a little bit then.

It hadn’t escaped his notice that Ed hadn’t given him a mug, glass, or really anything to drink it with either. It was a tossup between just drinking right out of the bottle to be obnoxious or opting for decorum and conjuring up a glass. He didn’t want to think about the type of people that had pressed their mouths to the cups provided at the Hogs Head, and the disgusting thought was enough to convince him to pull out his oak wand and conjure one up for himself.

After pouring a glass, a little disruption by a portly wizard somewhere to his left momentarily got his attention. Well, not so much the wizard as the witch he was talking to. Silas was no stranger to people with hair dye but this girl probably got the cake for being the first human who might have the ability to glow in the dark. The contrast between the pink of the hair and yellow of the dress was certainly intended for nothing more than to catch attention, this one was clearly an exhibitionist.

”That one looks like your type,” he remarked to Ed, deciding to ignore Lovely as anything but a conversation piece for the time being. He wasn’t one to randomly start talking with approximately school-age girls in seedy bars. It wasn’t exactly smiled on by society, not that Ed ever seemed to mind. As far as Silas was concerned Ed was likely to hit on anything between the ages of four and eighty. ”Though knowing your quick fingers you’ve probably tried something already,” he continued in an attempt to goad. Oh, if only he knew what Ed had already done.