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Post by louis on Nov 11, 2008 1:36:40 GMT 1
Louis shook his head slowly at Kris’s words. “Non,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “Je vous veux...” He frowned, not sure why he was speaking French. Everything seemed so jumbled and confused in his head. “I… I’ve already made you wait long enough Kris. I want you to make l-love to me…”
He tried to remember exactly what Ash had told him, that it would hurt, but that it was worth it. That was what he thought the other boy had said. Louis bit his lower lip, trembling slightly at the though, he had never been very good with pain. ”Ashley told me that it hurts the first time?” He looked up into the other boys green eyes that he spoke, unable to keep the fear from his voice. He trusted Kris, he did, but Ash knew a lot about sex and if he said it hurt then it must be true.
“S-so… if I cry it’s not your fault, okay Kris?” He took to other boys hand and held it tightly, wishing he could stop shaking. Louis hated disappointing people and he couldn’t help but feel that sex with him would be a disappointing experience for Kris. |
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Post by kris on Nov 11, 2008 1:43:19 GMT 1
Kris smiled down at him as he spoke in French. Even though he barely understood a thing, it was something he found incredibly cute and always made him gaze down at the other fondly. He was his precious boyfriend, his small French Hufflepuff. And at the same time he was the most important thing, young and inexperienced as he was. He could never stop thinking about him, stop wanting him. He was just hoping that Louis meant it, that he really did want this and wasn’t just trying to do him a favor.
“I… I’ve already made you wait long enough Kris. I want you to make l-love to me…” Kristian was worried that Louis would give it up just because he had to wait. They had only been together for little more than a month, it felt longer because they’d been friends but their relationship had just started. He didn’t want Louis to feel that way, though when he opened his mouth, the other continued in that same soft voice. ”Ashley told me that it hurts the first time?”
Kris nodded voicelessly, running his tongue down his bottom lip, still gently touching the others face. ”It did for me” He answered quietly, not wanting the Hufflepuff to think back on the way he had ‘cheated’, but knowing that he needed to be honest. ”But if you really want this...Then I’ll try really hard not to make it hurt, okay? I don’t want to make you cry...” The thing was, no matter how long they’d wait, the first time would always hurt. |
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Post by louis on Nov 11, 2008 2:09:25 GMT 1
”It did for me”
Kris’s words were barely a whisper, but Louis felt a stab of hurt go through him as he realized what the older boy meant. He tried his hardest not to show it, he knew Kris wasn’t mentioning it to be cruel, he was simply being honest. Still the thought of his lover being like this with someone else cut deeper that barb wire. Louis tried to force the bad thoughts away, concentrating on the good ones instead.
Even if it was going to hurt, afterwards they would be closer than before. They really would be lovers then, in the real sense of the word. What he was going to give to Kris was something precious, something he could only give once. Surely that meant that this really was true love.
“I trust you, Kris.” He said, smiling a little. “I just don’t want to make you feel bad, you know I can’t help crying at everything. I just… I don’t want to ruin this for you.” He bowed his head, unable to look into Kris’s eyes. Part of him wished this was going to happen somewhere else, somewhere more romantic than on a sofa in the common room. But there was really no other choice, going up to his bed was out of the question.
Kris was still hesitating. Louis took a keep breath then carefully removed his boxer shorts, dropping them on top of his jeans. He’d never been completely naked in front of someone before and he couldn’t help but blush. |
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Post by kris on Nov 11, 2008 15:36:47 GMT 1
Kris saw the little flash in the younger boys eyes and bit his lip. He really didn’t want to bring up Marius, even if he had to concede to only himself that what had happened that night was indeed rape. It didn’t mean that he could say it to the other though, Louis would feel terrible about it and it’d have consequences that he was sure he couldn’t handle. So he kept quiet, letting the other think that he’d cheated instead. If there was anything the Ravenclaw was scared of it was Louis using this to tie him to him, to get closer and make things perfect again.
”You won’t ruin anything for me. I love you.” His voice was soft, arms gentle as he cradled the younger boy to him. ”I just...I just want this to be right, you know? I want it to be perfect.” Which also meant that he disliked the thought of doing it on a sofa in the middle of the Common Room, but really, where else could they go? If they went anywhere now, people would be conspicuous of what they were up to, and he really didn’t feel like answering any questions.
Taking his wand, he sat up a little more, casting a spell that made curtains fall around the couch, shielding them from view. Then he tried his best to make the couch into a little more of a bed, transfiguring it so it was broader and held pillows instead. It was the best he could do at the moment. When the other removed his clothes he held his breath, just looking at him with huge green eyes for a moment. ”You’re so beautiful. You’re perfect.” |
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Post by louis on Nov 11, 2008 18:32:01 GMT 1
Louis blushed deeper still at Kris's words. Inwardly he thought he was far from perfect. Not that he had any real problem with his body, he was just... small. Much smaller and slighter than normal for his age. Then there was the fact that he was, well, kind of small in the place that most boy's wanted to be big in. That had never really bothered him before, but now it seemed rather important.
"I'm not perfect," he said. He hugged himself, goosebumps rising up slightly on his skin. The couch was much more comfortable now that Kris had transfigured it. Louis could almost pretend they were somewhere else. He smiled up at the other boy, trying to hide his nerves.
"So... ah.. how do we... do this?" He really wished he had listened when Ash had explained things before. He'd gotten the basics but when the other Hufflepuff has started going into detail he'd been too embarrassed to continue with the discussion. |
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Post by kris on Nov 11, 2008 19:40:54 GMT 1
Kris ran fingers through Louis’s hair again, kissing him softly. ”Don’t be scared, my love.” His voice was quiet, eyes warm as he looked at the smaller boy underneath him. Louis was small, but he loved him, exactly the way he was. He had always been attracted to him, the fact that the Hufflepuff was tiny for his age only making the urge to protect him come up. Kristian liked protecting people, loving the fact that he was allowed to hold him at night and never let go of him.
”You’re perfect to me. You’ll always be perfect. Just like you think I am.” He nuzzled the Hufflepuffs lips softly, running fingers down his chest lovingly. He had heard a little about sex, and read quite a lot once he’d just started dating Louis. Not that he was expecting to need it, but it felt better to be prepared just in case. But though he knew the technical stuff, it was a far cry from knowing exactly what was supposed to happen.
”I ehm...I think we’re supposed to, you know, practise first? To make it...fit?” The last thing he wanted was to hurt Louis and he’d read some on using lube and fingers first until it stopped hurting, which seemed awkward but not half as awkward as actual sex sounded. |
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Post by louis on Nov 16, 2008 16:33:58 GMT 1
Louis nodded a little at Kris's words, trying to ignore the nerves that were almost choking him. In a way he wished the other boy wasn't so kind. The longer they waited around, the more nervous he was going to get. "I trust you." He said softly, giving Kris a small nervous smile. People had sex all the time, he told himself, if couldn't be that bad, or nobody would do it. This seemed rational, and made him feel a little better.
"Don't be nervous, Kris." He said out loud, looking up at his boyfriend with wide eyes. "Let's just... do it.. okay?" He frowned, wondering if he sounded pushy. Maybe Kris didn't want to do this at all. "Unless you don't want to?" He added quickly. [[OOC: My apologies for the uber shortness dear Mia <3 I hope you can forgive me.]] |
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Post by kris on Nov 16, 2008 20:24:09 GMT 1
Louis was being all sweet, telling him that he shouldn't be nervous when he knew full well that his boyfriend was equally so, if not more. The thing was, he wanted to make it good for his lover. Wanted to make sure that it would be better for the Hufflepuff than it had been for him. But to tell him of this would mean dragging everything up again, putting Marius inbetween, where he really didn't want him.
Kris just wished he could forget about it all. Could make love to his boyfriend without being worried about it hurting too much or not being good enough. Without having to wonder if he was making this as awful as Marius had made it for him. "I love you. You know that right? Even if it hurts and even if I'm really bad at it?" He could only hope that Louis would still love him after that.
Realizing that things would probably be more comfortable if Louis wasn't the only naked one, Kris took a breath and removed his own clothing, blushing slightly with every piece of fabric shed. Only Marius had seen him this way, though he hadn't bothered to take off his shirt or even his socks. Still, it was weird to be naked around his long-time best friend, and Kristian found himself looking away shyly. |
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Post by louis on Jan 6, 2009 14:43:08 GMT 1
Louis couldn't help but stare as Kris undressed. Seeing his boyfriend naked did a lot to help the nerves that were making him tremble. Kristian was simply beautiful. It was something the other boy never seemed to be aware of, just wonderful he was. Kris had such a low opinion of himself, something that had always puzzled Louis in the past. Now though, after hearing about the pain Kris had gone through at the hands of his father, Louis though he was finally beginning to understand. To be hurt by someone who was supposed to protect you must have been so confusing for a child.
Louis blinked by the tears that sprung to his eyes at that thought. He was glad Kris had trusted him enough to tell him about his past, but he didn’t want to think about it now. This wasn’t the time or the place. Besides, he couldn’t change what had happened, but he could make Kris feel loved now.
"You won't be bad," he said, moving a little closer and pressing his lips gently against the smooth skin of Kris's shoulder. "I know if it hurts that its not your fault..." |
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Post by kris on Jan 6, 2009 14:51:10 GMT 1
Kristian raked his fingers through Louis’ hair ever so gently, nuzzling his cheek. Even though he knew it wouldn’t be his fault, that a first time would always hurt, he wished things could be different. He wished that they had both been virgins, that he didn’t have to worry about the pain – simply because he wouldn’t know what it was like. Now he did though, and he knew that he should at least be happy on some level, glad that he would know how to make it better than it had been for him.
”I don’t want to hurt you at all” He whispered softly, placing a gentle kiss on the blondes forehead. The thought that he’d be responsible for making his boyfriend cry made something curl up in his stomach, leaving him with a shiver running down his spine. He tried to reason things away – Marius had fucked him without any preparation, and he hadn’t cried. He had wanted to, it had hurt like hell, but maybe if he was really really careful, it wouldn’t be so bad?
”I love you” It was a quiet statement, Kristian pressing his lips to Louis’ mouth for a second or two, before gazing down on him with the most tender look he could muster. He really did, and he’d do anything to make this perfect. |
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